The love i have for you <3

2009-02-05T17:42:00.002+08:00

~我好想好想我的宝贝啊~

Standing by the bus-stop, i couldn't control my tears. As those tears flow down, i force myself to shut my feelings up but as the bus came and i saw you walking to the bus-stop with nothing but smiles, i couldn't help but think how foolish could I be to think that you would be just as sad as me.

Walking down the streets all alone, I didn't know what to think. I couldn't help but cry. I felt lonely I felt lost. I really wanted you to be there.

Just as I was on the way home, i sat on the bus right at the back, leaving a seat next to me, just beside the window for i thought you would be there. Those tears just kept coming down. I didn't know what to think.

2008-12-15T02:01:00.002+08:00

~ So near yet so far ~

Currently listening to songs.. lols. Later in the day there would be cca and after that, going out and thennnn the most important thing!!! go and fetch my little baby from camp : D

Can't wait for my baby to be back isn't it.. but wonder if she have been good.. After all, everything is like made for her and stuff so... hopes she appreciate. Love you lots baby girl.. Don't know what to blog about already lahhh rawr rawr rawr.

Just hope my baby girl have been a good girl ever since the day that she step into camp or i will be like so dam disappointed but oh well.. i have my trust in my baby. i love her. love you baby

2008-12-14T02:07:00.004+08:00

~The solitude on land disappears as you are gone ~

Baby is currently in her promotion camp now and that makes me not having to speak to her for one whole day already :(:(. Been spending the whole day remaking my blog just as a surprise for my little baby and i guess when she is back, it would be a surprise to her as it is proudly done by her own baby who never touches his blog :/ BUT... nevertheless, for the sake of my own baby girl, i am willing to touch up on my blog and do everything for her and up till current time, i have used like close to 7 or 8 hours just to remake everything. Surprising isn't it..

Been pondering about it, studying indeed is important but when a young child does not get enough sleep, he would definitely not be able to do well. Just as well when there are things you have to do, it means you have to do it and shall you not want to do it, that would merely make the process even tougher.

ITS late and i guess my baby would want me to sleep rather early so.. im off to bed good night :D

Hey baby girl you must be currently sleeping in your sleeping bag at the campsite bah. Just wanna tell you that dear have been missing you real much and everything on the blog is made for you alright. I hope your reaction would not be like last time wor cause this has taken close to 9 hours of my time today and it isn't really very pleasing like last time. But nevertheless, i believe you will appreciate it right... just wanna say that i love you very much baby.. muacks. cant wait for you to come back. sleep tight little pig ^^

2008-11-29T16:57:00.010+08:00

The further you are, the more i want you and the more i love you.

Hais.. Now baby is in camp. Usually i would have my doubts about whether she is being good or have been naughty but i guess those doubts isn't there anymore. I don't know whether is it because i'm trusting her more or have i grown tired of nagging at her. No matter what, i believe whatever that we have went thorugh for the past holiday being side by side one another all the time, definitely proved its worth. I was blamed right from the start that i was too possessive of her and that she never had time for anyone else. But if those selfishness wasn't there, would i still have the chance now to tell her i love her? i doubt so.

Throughout this six months going to seven, i have seen her change. Many thinks that i have changed her to what i wanted for myself but how many really knows that what i had wanted for her to change was merely for herself and for her future. Yes, many may think that i have created a chunk of rubbish as an excuse of my said to be destestable ways but how many really know that what i had truly wanted was actually a better her in the end..

Baby you always claim that you understand what i have been doing but are you sure you really understand it or were they just words to console me of my foolishness?

Many a times i wondered why i should ever had done all these before but as i though about it, i realise its just cause i love you. I totally fell into the sea and i guess that was expected by many.. The hardships i put you through were a lot but cause I wanted a better future for both you and me.

As i was saying , how many really understands what i have done but for sure, she had changed. Hopefully thats what she thinks too and hopefully she believes that everything that i had done was for her sake and not mine and that she have actually improve herself and is a better person now.

Hey baby girl, I know you are in camp now and hopefully you will read all these when you are back but nevertheless, i really hope that you have been a good girl and havent been talking to guys alright.. I have been real good and i hope you too.. Remember what i told you about how i hate girls lying to me? Thats why i never pass through a year but i really hope having you as my present pas and future, you would not make this mistake alright, its obvious that i have placed all my hopes into you.. And i hope you truly understands everything that i have nag. You still owe me a blog hor. rawr love you lots baby girl. Miss you alot too..

2008-11-24T20:44:00.003+08:00

~ As the day goes by, the love strengthens, the weakness forgotten ~

For some reason, the love for her seems to be building up, i seems to be more worried about her. Her actions always bewilders me despite being with her for so long. Even though she ain't the most beautiful woman in the world, even though she isn't the most perfect lady in the world but my heart seems to already have reached out for her..

The fact that i have already becomes so possesive merely made me realise that in the end, the one losing out is actually her.. Being who she are, she have changed way too much for me. It never seems right to ask her to change so much but how many actually knows that what i wanted was merely beneficial for her. Though many a times i was selfish to take her away from that many people whom wanted her but the forlorness that builds up between us when we are not together simply builds up.

If there was a choice, i would wish that we have never been together and not because i dont find it worth it but merely because i finds that everything is too hard for a soft girl like her. She belongs to someone who can bring her happiness all the time and not someone who keep wanting her to change.

These few weeks, the fact that she was and still is beside me everyday only make me realise that i would not get bored of her.. knowing how much i love her, i doubt i would get bored of her.

It indeed is a pleasure to know that you have someone there by your side loving you and asking you change for the sake of not only her but instead at the same point of time for your own sake too.

It too is good to have someone loving for you and probably caring for you when things are getting worse or when there are no one there for you. I really hope, i really wish that every each and everyone of us out there have that very special one there for them.

Being love by someone, makes a difference. Having able to sacrifice for someone, makes a difference and being able to worry about someone, makes all seem worth it. What for living a life just for yourself? what for living a life where there are no one else to share that joy with you? On a nice note, at least i have my little baby who is currently lying down on me, there for me : D i love you baby girl.

Just due to all these, i would like to say thank you to my very dear baby alexandra who have been with me throughout this half a year being here and there and always for me. i love you baby.

To that little baby of mine : Hey my cute little baby hbope you have seriously listenened to those words that i have said and truly ponder about it. i really want our relationship to be on the right track and i really want our relationship to be a true relationship whereby everything of you affects me and everything of mine affects you. You still owe me a public awareness my dear. FASTER lah. loveyou

2008-10-18T23:48:00.002+08:00

Happy 80th birthday grandmama : D

Been tired, been thinking, been pondering

Many said that i have given up too much just to be with her many said that i had sacrifice too much just to be with her but how many know about the ups and downs that we had. how many actually knows what we had been through together? Many know that we quarrel, many know that we fought but how many actually know those feelings that we had for one another. its hard to decide its hard to make a choice. For now, i just want to happily be with her. the end...

hey baby.. i have been scared, i have been real paranoid though many times you werent there for me, but when i wanted care, you gave me. when i wanted love, you showed me. When i wanted you.. ~blank~ all i can say is i really hope that those ups and downs are all with dear.. i dont know what will be the outcome on monday but whatever it is, i really hope you can spend the rest of the times even if it means limited with me.. i love you baby. sleep tight and sleep well.

2008-10-17T12:15:00.001+08:00

i love the baby beside me now : D

2008-10-14T20:14:00.002+08:00

I have been criticised, scrutinized for doing things

Sometimes i really wonder if what all you had said is the truth or are those merely words to assure me and to put my heart into place. Sometimes i really wonder and sometimes i really question to what extend are they true..

Had a serious breakdown last weekend and chance upon two poem thought up by me it goes like this-

Tears fall like leaves,
Apart from the root,
Away from the eyes.

As the rain pours,
The leaves feel
As the sorrow floods,
Tears fell.

Leaves die after they fall
but tears never.
those sorrow would always be there
but the same rain would enver be seen again.

____________________________________________________________________

Helplessly by the playground,
tears falling down so slowly.
Seeing the raindrops drop by,
feeling so sad and lonely.

Regretting everything,
feeling all so sorry.
An hour pass,not a soul.
A second hour pass
A familiar face but it was a lie.

Loving a person, missing her.
Knowing that she will be here
But just waiting for the tears to dry.

As the rain flows by,
The rainbow seems to shine.
Is that rain after storm
or is that another fear.

Seeing the sky brightens,
Knowing that i will be forsaken.
Still waiting for the tears to dry
and never have to cry.

Loving a girl so much
yet doing so little
Missing a girl so much
yet doing so little.

Hoping for miracles to happen,
Hoping for those tears to dry
As those tears stop fallen,
Its time to bade goodbye

Those happy memories,
those sad memories
They are all memories
which would never tell a lie.

I love to hear you,
I love to see you
Missing someone seem so tough
but loving someone is even harder

I really hope those tears would dry
And i could bade them goodbye.

___________________________________________________________________

These two poems thought out by me when i was crying waiting for my angel to arrive.. But before my angel arrive, she made two of my good friends arrive i love you angel i love you baby..

Baby i really love you that is why i changed so much for you i hope you appreciate everything. i know yes, the worries would still be there just so for you but i hope you would take into consideration all the talks we have ever done. i love you baby

2008-10-08T20:13:00.002+08:00

~ Happiness, sadness and forlorness ~

Those feelings are seeping into my mind. i was wondering a few days ago whether i had done the right thing or not. I told myself to leave her but I ended up asking her to be back with me. I do not know what to do anymore. With her by my side, i felt bless but when she is gone, even for a mere second, forlorness wont stop coming in.. The urge to hug her and the urge to feel her simply comes in whenever she is gone. Just round the corner , she left and those misses would start coming in.

Those sadness flows in when you walk away.
Those misses flows in when you walk away.
Those moments flows in when you walk away.

The day that you cried, the day that our relationship died, the day our relationship revived. I told myself many times that i would cherish i would withstand and i would bare with whatever that this relationship would bring me. I made it.. I did it.. i got you back with me. As i am typing all of these, you are busy doing your maths. Maybe you don't know but i would turn around and glance at you whenever possible because i miss you and because i feel like looking at you. You might think i am eccentric or that i am abnormal but i just want to tell you that i love you and i really miss you.

Last night was miserable.. In the sense that last night made me felt real awful.
You told me you miss me,
you told me you want to hug me
you told me that you want to feel your body touching mine
and you told me that you want to sit there do nothing and just look at me.

Those thoughts that you pen down and sent through your phone, made me real sad.. real sad that i can't be there for you. whatever your thoughts may be, i just want to hug you and caress you softly. I just want to hug you and let you relax yourself. My days pass by being lonely but you brighten them up. You took over everyone and you took over everything. I want to have you everyday but i am afraid you would find me a bore. i know it is not right to take you everyday but without you for a day, would seem like a year. it was only 2 days before i hug you and it felt like forever.. it felt so great to have you in my arms again and seeing your eyes closing peacefully.

That is the solitude that i have always wanted.. with the girl that i love being hug by me and resting peacefully. Though we play, though we get crazy but the love between us is strong. There will be much more love than ever there will be much more.. it always will..

Exams are ending soon and tomorrow would be the last paper. I don't know how much time you would allow for me and i don't really want to guess. Maybe after tomorrow or friday, the time that we spend together would be much lesser. I have no clue i have no idea.. i just want to cherish you till then. i just want to hug you till then. Till the day when i am lonely, walking across roads and crossing traffic lights without holding anyone without having to worry about anyone. i just want to say i love you girl..

Having you for so many days, without seeing you for a few hours, makes me sad.
Having you for so many days, without seeing you for a few days, tortures me.
Having you for so many days, without hugging you at all, makes me worries..

You affect me directly baby. Its not inverse proportion. May this post be dedicated to you. I just want to let you know how much i love you. I love you baby.. 真的很爱你。 Hope after seeing this, your love for me would increase and would understand situations much more baby.. i really wish you to be the first girl that understands me the most and the first girl that allow me to dote on the most.. i love you.

2008-10-06T14:05:00.003+08:00

~It have been such a long time since such a feeling came to me anymore~

Complexity seems to be taking over me. Even though there was exams today, those thoughts simply flooded my mine. they overcame my knowledge they overcame my sanity they overcame everything that is within me. I want to talk to someone but there is no one for me to talk to. I want someone to be there for me but there isn't anyone. I don't want to disturb my baby.. i don't want to influence her. I have been thinking hard and i have been thinking really much. Over everything. As i was doing my physics, those thoughts seem to flood my mind. They told me to leave her and let her be alone. I don't want such a thought to appear i dont want to leave you but i am afraid that those thoughts would make me leave you. i know you will miss me very much and just as well as i will miss you.. but... its suffocating its torturing.. Our relationship only bounded by messaging.. shall one day one of our phone is gone, prolly that would mean the end of our relationship... I can only hope this isn't what you meant by a relationship if not all these would only be a facade.

My own personal feelings of course. Complexity is flowing in like how water is seeping through paper. It may be fast or it may be slow. Its all about perception..

Exams are here studies are here everything is here except you.. this relationship is getting meaningless by messaging and apart from that, hopefully after school.. but i guess i would be seeing you lesser and lesser as the day passes by.. You have everything but i lost all of my mine.. The solitude that i had wanted is very much different from what i had expected.

~ THE END ~

2008-09-30T20:31:00.003+08:00

我已经不知道被人爱的感觉了。

当我在最需要你的时侯，你却选择不要在我身边。我不知道该怎么做。只懂得什么是不知所措。

Baby.. i still love you very much and i really hope that you can be there with me and not be scared of me. i really needed a hug whenever i feel really down but you was never there all along. whenever i see those images of you walking near towards me, that spark of hope would be in me but it would soon be gone as you would walk away far from me.

i just wish you would understand..

2008-09-27T16:14:00.000+08:00

~ The feeling of being love by you can never be describe ~

It have been two weeks and i have been with my baby for the past two weeks. Although it may seem long, it is actually short so its okay.. Have been missing you real much everytime you step away from me baby.. worrying about you all the time. I just want to see you more and more. I love you baby

Two more weeks to EOYS. EVeryone must work hard for it. THen we will be free !!! :D

Been spending much time in school studying for everything. I am trying real hard to study. studying like never before. All thanks to my little baby who took everyone else away from me :D love you baby

2008-09-25T21:46:00.002+08:00

Baby.. i will never leave you for never will i wanna see you sad. I wont take a step away from you no matter how small it is for i wanna be there when you need me. I will never say good bye to you baby. No matter how hard it is, no matter how small the chance it is, i will persist. persist in getting you back. All these times, my love had remained that much and really that much for you my baby. I will never treat you bad. i will always give in to you. i will always want you to be happy. I will never let you feel like some unworthy piece when you are with me. i love you

2008-09-25T21:31:00.002+08:00

Complex feelings, Complete anxiety.

Every time when i am far away from you, those worries would come those woes would come and those complex feelings would come. I really wonder, when will i be able to let you go and i really wonder how. I am so afraid that upon relying on you, you would leave me i am so afraid that you would lie to me again. Things of the past never did should be reminded. Things of the past should never surface again. I could put everything down but could you? I sometimes really wonder if you are the happy girl when you are beside me or is it because you just want me to smile. I know you had always wanted me to smile. Those times when i sacrifice for you, was worth it. My bet had been proved. Not because we had done anything but just because i think it that way. I believe i love you and i hope you love me too.. You had been a good girl i know but when will you entrust your life to me. When will you not hide anything from me and when will you be the little good girl that will always be beside me. I know it may be then or i know it ma be now. I really wish to be able to walk my dog with you everyday. Just side by side holding hands and kissing whenever we feel like it. I want this world to be ours i want this world to never be taken away from us. Baby i need you. I once thought before. If i die tonight or if i die any other days, would you cry. i wouldnt want you to cry just because i love you. i would wipe those tears off your eyes if i have to. I want to give you my everything be it my joy , my happiness or everything else. You told me it was your nature that you acts like a baby and my next thought was was it because you are sad and you are trying to put things away or is it because of your natural nature. I don't really mind how you act my dear girl.. be it baby or what. I just request to be beside you all the time. Even if you were to cry day and night, i would be with you. Even if the whole world would be gone, i would be with you. i will always be with you my dear girl. i love you.. I sacrifice for you, you sacrifice for me. I change myself for you and you change yourself for me. This is what is call love. This is what made things true. Ups and downs, we had spent together. We seen each other cry, we seen each other went crazy and we seen each other be happy. i will always take care of you my dear girl. no one would harm you and no one can harm you. i will lead you through the road if i have to. i love you baby..

2008-09-24T21:02:00.005+08:00

~THIS LOVE COULD NEVER LAST LONGER THAN EVER~

I have got a new mummy ^^

It have been a long time since i posted.. maybe just days but it definitely felt like a long time. All these while, i was with my baby. Enjoying the time that we spend together and everything else.

Exams for this week have just finished and everything proceeded so well. i was astonished that i could study with my baby as i thought i would be distracted but i did not. Although there was times that i did get distracted but my baby pulled me back..

yesterday was sad and it was bad.. my watch spoil for the first time in fifteen years. i was clearly depress but not only about that but other thing else as well. I finally got my present for my baby :D a white jacket. dont really know if she like it or not but i sure hope she appreciates it.

A poem that was stupid -

Of the fifteen years i had,
my life was never so bad.
The day my watch died,
was the day i told a lied.

I set by the beach,
and thought of my bitch.
She once told me,
she would never leave.
as she will always be there
never leaving me bare.

I had never been in such dismay
as i lived with such a fray.
I swear to kill the one that made my watch died
and once again i lied.

I lied that i was fine
as i was trying to be kind
i did not want those who love me
to be troubled just for me

I thought of all these
to assure my baby
My watch had just died
and there goes my lie.

That was what my baby had thought but not fully throughout as i was pretty sad then and she was trying to cheer me up so..thank you baby i love you.

Today was the big day as i went with my brothers and my little baby to queensway but just to eat laksa so we went there and walk round and round and round for 1.5 hrs. After that, went to take bus with my little sweetie back home. It was an one hour plus ride? but yeahh there was a ghost behind us who was seriously disturbing. so yeah... kiss halfway then got shocked. Stupid isnt it.

After that, my baby sort of broke down and stuff so we went to talk and chat and said everything out but yeah.. hope you feel better my dear girl. love you lots..

Baby.. today that we had, you were crying pretty bad. You told me to accept your emotional outburst but yeah i never did once mind it. you said you were acting like a baby so isnt that meant that i should give you all my care and concern? i really love you alot my dear girl. i told you everything and i told you what i mind. those were the things that i had really mind for the past 4mths but i never did say as i did not want to openly criticise you openly baby.. so yeah.. i guess everything was said today.. so it is good isnt it. i am glad you told me everything too and baby, i will always be here for you my dear girl. i will never leave you and i am glad that you told me everything my dear girl. iloveyou baby. i hope you will entrust your everything to me darlin. i love you baby.. i sacrificed a hell lot for you already my dear girl. i dont really have anything more to sacrifice for you. iloveyou

2008-09-20T22:49:00.000+08:00

Have been real zilian today with my baby.. guess this is my third post but yeah. have been real zilian. i think me and her probably took around... a hundred photos? or maybe lesser. who knows. but i am real lazy to blog. i guess i sort of memorized my history and Ss. ready for exams on monday. ^^

2008-09-20T17:49:00.001+08:00

A random post- I love my baby who is currently beside me sitting there singing so beautifully. i love you baby.. :)

2008-09-20T16:36:00.003+08:00

The day spent with my baby studying :) Photos taken after we decided to take a break. love you baby :D

My baby's two little sweethearts :)
( permission asked to put it this way)

Both that is pure cute people taking photos together make things even cuter :D

hello. (:

My little baby studying till go emo

2008-09-19T18:27:00.006+08:00

I LOVE ALEXANDRA CHIA CHIH WEN :D:D:D:D:D:D:D

The time when my new blog is created and probably reposting everything else that have happen in my life.

Everything will start of from today, 19/9/08.

iloveher iloveher iloveher(requested by her)

Today in school, finally had my PE after three dam weeks. Finally even though it rained, but it was sunshine soon after that and we had our pe lessons. Rushed down like simply immediately after lessons and could hardly concentrate due to the fact that i was worrying about my baby cause she was probably going for the overseas trip but nevertheless, me and vanessa was simply so happy that she was no longer going for the trip which clearly meant that i was simply wasting everything that i had done in the morning to persuade vanessa to go just because of my baby.. Pe was seriously very tough and we only had 30 mins of basketball match before we were all dead tired and were all struggling. i guess i seriously lost all my basketball skills but managed to shoot some shots into the hoop which clearly proves that i still have the thing for it huh. During recess, when everything was like simply perfect with me playing with everyone, someone chose to come and find troubles with me despite me not doing anything and in the end, during recess was simply so heated up but after school, it was okay.

lastly, now with my baby being right beside me, being so annoying and everything , being so IRRITATING. but i still love her very much..

Specially for you, my dear girl

It was seriously hard for me to go down baby.. and the reason why i am like saying it here is not seriously to advertise but instead, to seriously tell you my personal thoughts. it was hard for me to go down on my knees even if it meant the fourth time.. today was merely three times and it wasn't easy at all. but i guess it wont happen anymore. i finally really put on the ring right for you and properly ended everything. though there were seriously disruptions but nevertheless like what i told you, selective memory so only remember the sweet time that i have for you alright. i told you many things while i was on my knees, talking to you and those words were probably the words that i really meant after so many times i said it to you. the next one, hopefully it will be public. i dont really know if i touched you or not or if it were even sweet and i know that like what you said, many things dont have their meaning after doing it for a very long time but this thing that i have done, regardless of whether it have its meaning or not, were merely thoughts that i have wanted to say and everything. like what i said, everything have an ending but whatever it is, our relationship will never have an ending. i really love you my dear girl and i really want to be with you for a long long time. i love you baby. i love you. even if the whole world were to know what we have done, i will never have any regrets as long as it is about you and for you. The four months that we had were probably very hard and alot of up and downs but i seriously hope that we can always be together forever regardless of up or down cause i really love you my dear girl. i dont want you to leave me even for one moment and i will really not leave you even if those tears were to fall off your eyes,i will wipe them off but i seriously hope that those happy times were only with me and you will rely on me more than ever. ILY babyy..

2008-08-27T20:33:00.005+08:00

i need you back with me, no one would ever understand us. no one will ever understand what we have gone through together. i know you would hide all your feelings you wont show your sadness you dont want me to be sad for you want me to be happy.. as i was typing this, my hand was trembling from everything. everything that i have vented. i had been a useless boyfriend and all i could do was to hurt her all over again. i never wanted to do it but i guess she wouldnt know it. i just wanted to protect her. no one would ever touch her and i swear i will kill the person. i would be the one with no emotions, no feelings. in a corner watching her as she enjoys her happiness while she play with others. smiling like the girl that i had always love. i simply love you alot girl but you will not know it anymore. i will be the introvert i meant to be and i will never open up to others. the girl that i had once love was gone and she will be gone forever.

NO ONE WILL MAKE HER SAD OR I SWEAR I WILL KILL HIM/HER. i am obsess with you aren't i.. i will always be here for you girl... being the one that you can rely on in times of serious needs. good bye darlin.. im still waiting for you to be back. i love you and i will always be here for you.

THE END.

2008-08-26T21:00:00.004+08:00

You took away my world, leaving me with darkness. When i need some warmth, i couldnt find you but instead i have to find the blanket I dont need anyone to console me for i dont want to admit my tears have fallen.

This is like how long since this blog have been closed up. Didnt really blog but instead, close it up. What for let people know your private feelings.

This few days many things have happened.. lets start from saturday.. things were supposed to be bad then it soon turn out better and better and before long, i was under the same sky with my darling watching fireworks.. Many thoughts were in there those days. I never did allow people to know what was inside me and that includes my girlfriend. Everything was just there and i shall continue later.

Monday, yesterday, went home tired.. slept and slept then my baby summoned me with the pokeball. and i got there in the next 15 mins or so. There was some lagness in the pokeball. After which, i was there at SGH, huggin the one that needed me the most while she sob and cried. I saw those happiness in her eyes when i see her and thus, was glad that i did made it there for her. Being the one always with her regardless rain or shine and never once will i leave her. Not for anyone at all.

Today, school was fucked up. My baby was crying and bitches preventing me from getting close to her. You people do make her feel better but what rights do you people have to keep me away from her and since you people understands her so well, what rights do you people have to not let her be the one she love. I know she told you people lots of things that i may be dunno but since i do not know, why must you people be the barricade. i hate you people.

Personal feelings with my relationship:

Feelings, deep inside me. I do want to tell you everything baby but its just that i do not want to make you sad. i know at many times, you would say you are not doing what a girlfriend should be but have you ever understand that i always wanted you to be there for me but its just that i am afraid that you would find me annoying. The time between us have been lesser and you became more and more short tempered. i can stand all these i can stand you not trusting me i can stand everything but the only thing i wont be able to stand is people preventing me from getting close to you. i would rather hear you telling me fuck off then hearing other people telling me fuck off. what rights have they? contradictory are how girls are born to be and i know you are of no exceptional i know all of these baby. i am willing to give in to you in whatever you want. i truly love you. i can sacrifice everything for your sake even if it means my brothers, my friends my freedom and my life. I have practically no more life now baby. Its either you or home. everything is about you now regardless of whether you believe it or not. Everytime you do not ask me but you feel fuck and stuff with regards to me, i will feel miserable. Miserable in the sense that why do you not want to let yourself feel better by asking me. i wont find you naggy. never in my life. I would reassure you as much as i can and i believe you know it really well. Dear have always wanted to be there for you whenever i can and shall one day someone decides to stop me from being there for you or with you, i will fight. Fight till i win the war. As you said, i will be here and there for you. i would always be with you baby. my happiness derive from you so i will be with you. people might find their happiness and walk off but never once will i. FOr i love you. I was so glad that this afternoon you smiled you laughed. it have been so long since we were like this and i have been missing all those times so much. when you embrace me with warmth and love. those jokes those fun. those happiness were all missed until today when everything came back and everything seem so real. i wish everyday could be like that baby. i wish everyday i could be by your side and make you trust me all over again . i wish i could have a chance that you would lost your memory and forget bout my past. those horrible past that made you cried and suffered. i wouldnt want you to suffer girl. not now not future and not ever. i love you girl. This few days, i cried plenty of times but i wouldnt tell you. my world was so down but i wouldnt tell you for i know you are troubled much enough and that i should not trouble you anymore. but i know i will tell you ever since then and i will try and understand you all over again, knowing your likes and dislikes. May those tears fall again but with the laughter and craziness between us.

The happiness in your eyes is what i longed to see. The craziness in you is what i hope to experience. i love you

2008-07-12T00:02:00.000+08:00

It have been a long long time since i blogged.. Hand hurts after all the training and so does my knee hurt when i fell down.. there are many things to say, there are the emotional roller coaster.. i shall not be sad and smile for the sake of the dear girl who have been trying hard to make me smile so.... to be back next time. Bye bye

2008-07-05T01:24:00.002+08:00

Missing you just as much as the rain pours from the sky

Tuesday: Musical day.. had quite a fun day at school , everything went by so fast and after that went to meet my bros at 4pm at amk hub. After which, we went to raffles city, raffles place and dunno where walk around play around and shop after which we went to watch the musical which is relatively okay then went home with bad memories which turned out good in the end.

Wednesday: Holiday for my school, went to find darlin had a good time had a good talk had a good sleep then nothing to do anymore so went home for dinner.

Thursday: Pds for part B. Disappointment for many decided to runaway which they would be dealt with disciplinary actions thus, they will die. A junior got injured and have to stitch his head. Lessons were per normal and they were quite slack and okay. So relatively fine. Then went home with darlin which in the end turned out from not so great become very great.

Today: Went to ica building to make my ic and i was like practically joking around the whole day after that, went to meet darlin again and had a fun time and long time with her after that, went home already.

I am cutting short everything yeah ^^

hey darlin.. i am trusting you yeah. Remember the 3 pact that we had together alright and remember those times when we had together and had fun. I wont end this relationship so easily therefore, you also cannot alright. I love you lots girl.. so... see you soon and the day when we go play one whole day, will arrive really soon alright. Promise baby. and remember what you promise me hor. i love you girl. seriously loving you and the way that you treat me and take care of me. muacks ^^

2008-06-27T14:21:00.003+08:00

Worrying about you time and again

I am now on my way packing and stuff while making my way to the airport soon.. Its been long since i sat on the seats of singapore airline but soon, i will be back to it again. My trip this time got to be fruitful as i will come back fitter and probably stronger i guess. I will miss alot of things definitely and of course, a day at school. Monday have to be a nice day for everyone as i would be coming back then :D. I will miss you guys and especially her most..

School have been great and teachers have been well too. People say that i have a short attention span but everytime when i want to really focus and concentrate on something, there sure would be buggers doing stupid things or interrupting my attention span. Whats wrong with people. When i am loving studies and enjoying and concentrating while squeezing my brain juice just to understand my teacher, People have to ruin it. I will be finishing most of my hmk on this trip huh.

Hey baby.. i miss you loads.. you are simply being missed and loved. May all of these last girl.

Hey baby.. you must be having your so called detention now? Or did mr p became kind and let you off huh? i just wanna say i will miss you loads too and i really love you alright. Remember last night baby.. things that we talk about. Dont do stupid things alright. I will come back and message you asap and will call you every night. Message me hor. Must remember.. i love you girl. muacks. Baby ah... i wanna hug you so so so much. I will message you and reply you when i can alright. but for now... i will be expecting your mass sending of messages alright. Loves, You are being miss girl.

2008-06-25T21:19:00.003+08:00

Loving you was never so tough until I started missing you

Today, finally we took over the whole company. Everything was going on find and i guess my part sort of had their fun.. Drills, introduction and Pt. The most memorable thing i guess it is about pt. 1 hour plus of Pt. Although it was tiring but everyone claim to be fun. I guess this was the only time that i had been really really tired after ncc. Snake and ladders. Mass pumping and mass running. Being a part c staff is seriously enjoyable but tiring with the pT that we had just now. I guess my Pti and my cadets would agree with me. Next tuesday would be ncc day and i wouldnt be able to take part in training my cadets on monday cause i am overseas. What a sad thing but nevertheless, my 2ic will screw them and help me keep the on track.

Life had been relatively great i guess. With my girl giving me those comfort, love and warmth that i had ever needed. Seriously, criticism about her will never affect me and i will just dismiss them for the things that we two had been together seems to be so much much more. I love you girl.. Oh and one last thing.. i guess i will be going overseas on friday and after that, come back on monday night. Wow? I will be missing one day of school. Not bad huh... miss you girl.

Today lesson was said to be enjoyable and bio was kinda hardcore with all those copying and all the notes not in order and mr ang lessons are finally getting more and more lovely. anyway, thinking skills was fun. Played throughout the lesson and practically became the laughter of the class.. hahah.

Hope to see you tomorrow girl... It have been a long time since we went out together. Love you

hey baby.. thank you once again huh.. you never seem to fail to make me sleepy. In the past, i was the one that had always made you sleep but i guess you know how to make me fall asleep now huh.. i love you girl. You made things that were so bad to be so good and things so good to be even better. People are doubting my love for you but i hope you do not follow the trend. I love you. thanks for being so automatic huh. you sort of made me feel being loved. I love you darlin... Its sad that i will be going oversea huh but i guess i will call you every night bah. you gotta be a good girl and control your emotions till dear is back alright. loves

2008-06-23T06:14:00.002+08:00

Missing you was never an option but instead, mandatory

Its only a mere half and hour before i will get myself off to school. Being back to school means facing all the responsibilities as a student regardless of whether i, myself wants it or not. It only means that more homework is coming up, tougher topic are going to appear and finally more escape from the discipline master. School life can never be enjoyed, thats what people said. But have they thought of all the fun that comes along with school life. Constantly being screwed by your teacher for not doing your work and thus, needing to get out of class. You see those inside laughing when you do something funny. Whats your aim when you do that? Its to lift up the mood of the class. The class seems dead. You lifted their mood, thats the right environment for studying but in the end, you get out of class. This indeed shall not deserve such an outcome but instead he did not think for his mindset was, everyone is dead. There are too many to say, too short the time to tell. So i shall continue this post when i am back. To be continued... The mood to go to school have to be right or the school will not be lively as usual. Without mood, what comes study. It will all be blank before you know it..

2008-06-21T02:12:00.006+08:00

I just love you more and more with each passing day...

Alright i guess i have been blogging less recent nowadays. Had promotion parade on thursday and im proud to say that i have been a Part c OIC, A Physical training instructor 2IC and a medic 2IC. I guess i am happy with my post as being a part c OIC have always been my wish.. I should be glad shouldn't I? I think the pressure would start building up as the times pass by and as the kids that i am taking start to be ready to take over..

As the position follow :

Unit Sergeant Major: Loic Bin Satar

Assistant Unit Sergeant Major: Wellyanto

Part C OIC : Chew Jing Xiang
Part C 2IC : Yeo Rui Xing
Part C Att. Spec: Calius

Part B OIC: Ng Lip Koon
Part B 2IC : Dennis
Part B Att. Spec: Lim Teck Boon

Part A OIC: Daniel Lee Rui Jie
Part A 2IC : Lee Wen Xiang
Part A Att. Spec: Edwin Poh Qian Heng

PDS OIC: Lim Teck Boon
PDS 2IC: Yeo Rui Xing

Admin OIC: Edwin Poh Qian Heng
Admin 2IC: Don Tan Zhuang Zhi

PTI OIC: Lee Wen Xiang
PTI 2IC : Dennis
PTI 2IC : Chew Jing Xiang

Logistic OIC: Darron Chong Kah Rui
Logistic 2IC: Calius

Publicity OIC: Fok Yan Chen
Publicity 2IC : Sharizal

Medic OIC: Yeo Rui Xing
Medic 2IC: Chew Jing Xiang

Welfare OIC: Fok Yan Chen

As from the above. it is clear that what post i have gotten huh. Three post.. Isn't it fun? Lols
Anyway.. The next training would be wednesday and i guess many of us would be eager for the training as we just took over. Hope this would be a better year for NCC though and may the unit thrive.

Anyway, back to the life that i have been spending these few days. Went to NCC on thursday while expecting a promotion but at the same time, having the nervous and fearful feeling of not getting the post that i wanted. But eventually i got it. Although, the day was pretty slacking i guess, but at the end of the day everyone is still tired. After getting promoted, we went to banquet- me, rui xing, edwin, daniel , lip koon, wei zhi, kai yang, chik heng and fareez. After eating, we went to catch the incredible hulk. Although the show was boring at start but soon it got nice. Then went home for dinner and after that went to meet my darlin girl.

Hey baby.. thank you for that night alright. It was like you was so tired and i guess i was real tired too that i fell asleep in your arms. Sometimes i really do wonder what do you do while i am sleeping for that half hour or one hour. It all seems so comfortable while hugging you and lying down on you baby girl. Sometimes i miss you too much and sometimes i somwhow wanna see you too. I love you girl.. Everyday seems to go pass so long without playing games as i dont get to see you. Fallin into depression soon as i miss you. I love you.

Yesterday or maybe today.. spent the first half of the day playing computer and i have no idea why i am so tired then after that went to see the doctor blah blah blah and back home play computer. hmm computer it may seem to be so important but i guess i am missing someone that is real important in my life. I think i might be coming up with ideas on how to change my Current part c cadets training. There are so many things to be done after taking over but i guess at the end of the day, it all seems so worthwhile.

Baby.. I am really glad that you are willing to put down and stuff.. Past = the day that you stead till yesterday. Present = today and future = to the many many many days and months that we are going to stead together. If nothing goes wrong, i assure you that this relationship will last a very long time girl.. I once told you i felt being pressure and stress the real reason is cause of this relationship i guess.. Pressure being that i constantly have to worry if i am treating you well enough and stress being that everyone question about my taste but at the same time wan me to be long with you and lastly cause i have to keep restraining myself from talking to girls. I guess those are the problems in the past which might have caused me to start a quarrel with you.. but i guess its over now. All these are all worth it. Your love says it all baby.. The feeling of being so comfortable with you seems to be just so great. the way that you look so cute at times are also so great. There would be many things to say girl.. if you even wanna know then msg me bah if not i shall cut it short. I love you darlin. 13-5-08. Loves

2008-06-18T04:09:00.002+08:00

The day before, 16/6/08.

Went out with my brothers to celebrate lip koon birthday. We went to the beach after settling my problems with my dear girl. We practically went to the beach for the whole day and everyone of us just got burnt by the sun. And now, i am called a prawn by my dear girl. Anyway, we went to play and play, then we caught starfish and catch like 12 of them while the tide was coming in. So, we were all like practically burnt and were all like having fun down there. Okay, anyway we went to vivo then go plaza singapura but we were like all dead tired. Everyone was restless. Sigh. Okay anyway went home soon at 8 plus and i fainted at 930 then got my girl to wake me up at 10 then tell her to let me sleep till 1030 then i could not take it anymore and decided to sleep for the night. WOOT

Yesterday, 17/7/08

We had our NCC training and fall in at 11am and after that, went to had our regular training till 4pm. Basically, we were taught to teach the juniors about INDIVIDUAL FIELD CRAFT. Then went to march and stuff while we slowly anticipate for our post on thursday.. The day of our life. Its the day when we take over and where people may shed tears due to sad or joy. There will always be fun in NCC just as well as in life. After training ended, i went to find my dear girl and things just carry on from them...

Now, 18/7/08 on 5:05am

I am sending my senior chik heng my billboard songs of top 100 and i had a fun time slowly clicking on every songs. Lols. i wonder what i will be doing in the afternoon. Okay thats all..

Hey darlin.. thank you very much for today alright. Its like i keep sleeping when i see you and stuff.. sorry baby girl. I simply enjoy you hugging me to sleep baby. I love you alot alot and alot. You understand things already huh. Miss you darlin.. muacks. Anyway, i still enjoy you hugging me baby. I wonder when we will like see each other soon loves. Oh yeah baby girl. i miss you loads and loads.. Remember the cold cold and hot hot things huh. Do things wrongly and things will go wrong. Baby you know what i mean huh. Love you lots muacks.

2008-06-15T23:05:00.002+08:00

By right or by left, i would just spam things out on my blog and she would read and everything would be settled. But that would always lead to a quarrel, a dispute between the both of us. I was cold to you or probably i am cold to you. I admit to that. Its not because that i was scared we would quarrel but instead, was scared that i would just spam everything like usual and cause you to be hurt. You could just go and have some fun with your friends and forget about all these things for that particular moment. I would gladly prefer that.

2008-06-14T02:37:00.004+08:00

ITS SAID TO BE A BAD FRIDAY BUT IT ALL SEEMS SO GOOD.

Woke up early morning automatically at 7am then went to have breakfast with parents. After that, played games cause it was like pretty early... but in the end, i have trouble finding clothes and that cause me to be late.. Sorry girl.

Arrived at sentosa at like 11:45am? After that we went to walk around and went up the carlsberg sky tower. We took a picture due to obligations and after that bought it. The photos are all with her now except those that are like in my phone. Then, we went to play the luge. It was fun... if you go like pretty pretty fast until when you turn and go down, there will be the win and stuff? But just so happen, there is someone who is like so scared and wanted to scream. So, we went slowly down the slope. Relatively fast i guess. And took the skyride back up. It was fun and enjoyable especially in a hot sun. Then, we wanted to go get tickets for cineblast, song of the sea and 4dmagix but in the end after queuing for like dam long and drinking our ice-cream, we found out that the tickets for cineblast and 4dmagix was like at the other end so we only bought ticket for song of the sea. Then, we went to purchase the ticket and sadly, it was half an hour to the next show.. But time seems to pass so fast dont they. Soon we went back and our dear pirate friend told us that it might be a full house so we went to the cineblast first. Cineblast... Waited dam long, thought dam cool but in the end.. disappointment i guess. After which we went to 4dmagix which were like dam dam dam nice and cool. Had a fun time inside..

After watchin everything it was like 4 plus only so we went to the underwater world. We trek the trail of dunno what dragon trail and stuff for like very very long and i was sweating profusely and we finally reached underwater world. Feeding the Stingray that sucks, touching those fishes and touching the hard rock starfish seems all so cool? After all its my first time there. Then we proceeded to try and catch some fish with our bare hands and some feeds but i guess. we failed. Then went visit crab, angel fishes which were like dam dam nice and seahorses and stuff. After that, we slowly walk to the beach and went to play! I was conned into going into the water and in the end all i got was shirt and jeans all wet and with sand. Wtf? But nvm cause i have had a fun fun time. Then at about 1hrs later or so, we went to buy clothes for myself and got her a towel for her to bathe. So we went to change and everything and we finally went back to the beach in my all new green shirt and floral slippers. Cool... The sunset was like beautiful indeed and the sky contrast was very nice. We took pictures after much disagreements and one of them became my screen saver :D. After that we went to see the song of the seas which were like dam nice and they go la la la la and someone got back their powers. When it ended we took the skyride back up and it was at night so it was very very nice and beautiful. A slow ride was like so perfect?

After that, went to coffeee bean to ate our lunch plus dinner and sit there and talk talk talk. Then, the ice tea was contaminated so.. i ended up laughing and going retarded all the way to the sentosa express and she continued from it. So, from there which we continued for one hour, we were practically laughing till our cheeks hurt. Soon, we have had to go home and we walked slowly while playing.. The details.. shall be kept between us huh. Loves. After that came home and now here blogging. Tiring day...

THE END OF THE POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey darling girl. Happy one month huh. Hope you have had a fun time today. Everything went according to plan and i suppose we have had a fun time considering that i have except that we sort of did not managed to watch the whole sunset but watched a very very nice scenery. My screen saver would never change unless its like we took another nicer picture. I love youuuuuuuuu. A full day outing with you is fun but... we might just go bonkers at the end of the day and do things that nobody would have guessed. I really love you girl. We shall go again next time alright.. Hope you liked the present that i gave you.. Oh and btw, i definitely like the present that you got for me alright. I know its hard for you to find a gift for me. So... thank you very much girl. The escalators, the banging of the head the wow wow thingys.. lets keep it to ourselves and laugh.. hahaha love you lots. Sleeping now huh. Sleep tight sweet dreams. We will have more fun when school reopen and stuff. I love you.

2008-06-10T23:15:00.004+08:00

The day passes as my heart grew fonder but just as well, forlornness is taking into place.

Woke up at 8:30am. It was kind of early compared to the normal days that i had spent throughout the holidays. Got myself ready and after that went to school for the first aid course. Sometimes i do wonder why do i want to go for that course when no one wants and i do not want to be a medic but i guess, it was to save face for ncc. Think bout it, out of 10 girl guides and only one appeared while they are suppose to be the closest to the scouts and the scouts were the one organizing this thing. For the ncc, 8 people went. Shall 8 people leave, it will only mean that we too does not give face to what the other cca are organizing and they would have a bad image of us. So , me and ruixing decided to stay on despite knowing that it sucks and will bore us. I slept through 5/6 of the course today due to my unbearable head pain. Ever since yesterday i have been having it. If I am not wrong, my brain must be adjusting to the new waking up time that i am having. Anyway, sat in class and was only awake for the practical practice session. The bandage stuff. I simply excel in those... At least thats what people says. And after that, i fell back into sleep. Tomorrow is the last day and that means I must not sleep tomorrow for revision are all done tomorrow. Lessons ended at 4:15 today.

After that, me, rui xing and shao qin went to hougang mall to buy food and at the same time, go and raid popular for assessment books to do. Didn't find the book that i had wanted and what rui xing had introduced but instead, got myself a book entitled : Sundays at Tiffany. It is a love story and i didnt had time to read it but i would gladly read it later. It seems to be a sad story.

In this world, must all love story be sad before they would end with a happy ending? Of all the relationships that i have had so far, i had my ups and downs. Those downs being those outcome that i had not wanted and those ups being what i had wanted, eventually succeeded and that is for the girl to be happy ultimately. People in tagboard have been saying that i shall not sacrifice my happiness for others but what they do not know is.. how hard the other party had to make themselves trust me. I am a flirt from the start and i had not abolish that status in many peoples' eyes. The only person that have said to trust me is my current girlfriend and she believes that i do not flirt anymore. To what extent does she really trust me is a doubt for words can be deceiving. I agree with that for i was once a flirt. I deceive girls into being with me despite knowing that they would get hurt. And now, i want to get into a serious relationship disregarding whether she trusts me or not. She may be trying hard to trust me, so shouldn't i ensure her happiness in return? Her happiness is important not only to me but many others. I must say , i do love her at this current moment and i hope this relationship would last for the last two years in my secondary school life. She may not be good, she may not be perfect. A lot of people have lots of criticism on her but why would i expect so much from her. She is just an ordinary girl, may be a little bit different from the others just like everyone differs from one another. Must i go for the most beautiful girl in my level or shall i just be contented with a girl thats like every other but special in my own heart. I guess, following my heart was the best option that i had ever made. She seems to understand me and suit me in many ways despite people saying that we do not suit and stuff.

She seems to be so cute in her way,
She seems to be so perfect in her way
She seems to be so addictive in her way.

Those were the difference. Being happy is hard.. but simply talking to her suddenly and seeing her, makes my day. I have changed haven't I. Sitting with her in the park for hours actually seems so short. Being with her makes me happy. Loving her was the best thing i could ever have done. Everyday, the heart grew fonder as the mind grew to miss her. I simply just love her and i doubt one day, i would actually say out: " lets break up". Those words may never just come out of my mouth for the heart grew fonder and the mind actually spent hours thinking of her. I did something that i would never have done in the previous relationships and that is to actually find out everything before i actually goes out with her. Everything was last minute in the past but now, as the day goes by and as the time we spend grew more, i want every single time that we see each other be more perfect than before. I guess i have to end it here as people are intruding on the process of me thinking out stuff. I love you girl. Hopefully, i could gain some knowledge after reading the book on how to treat her better.

I want you to be happy always
I want you to be carefree while being with me
I want you to be the only girl that i would love for long
I want you to be the only one that would be with me till the very last day of my life

I want you to feel that you are loved
I want you to feel that you are being cared
I want you to feel comfortable while being with me
I want you to feel that I am the right guy for you and not have any regrets

I want to be there loving you and caring about you always
I want to be there for you just as those tears drop from your eyes
I want to be the one that you would find the very moment you feel upset
I want to be there for you in every part and parcel of your life, be it up or down.

There are simply just too many things that i want while being with her. All these feelings seems so different from the pasts. This must be the very first girl that i actually love a lot and never wish to let go.

I love you girl.. Hope to see you soon..

THE END OF TODAY'S POST

2008-06-09T22:33:00.004+08:00

TO THE ONE AND ONLY THAT SHOULD READ THIS.
PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL DOCUMENTS

*I reserve the rights to sue you shall you decided to carry on reading despite you not being the person involve.

To: Darlin (Alexandra)
From: Dear ( Jingxiang )

Dear Darlin,

I just want to say that i really love you and I really want to be with you for a long long time girl. At this very moment of my life, I am missing you so much and I am loving you a lot too. I love you girl. It's another 4 more days before we have been together for 1 month. Although there were lots of dissent between the both of us and there were lots of squabble between us, i just want you to know that I really love you and you really is very important to me. Those times that we quarreled, hurts me just as much as it hurts you but ever since the last quarrel that we had, i am determine to not quarrel with you ever again till this relationship ends, shall it ends. Every word that I had said till this very point of time, comes truly from my heart. Including those talk on angels and those talk on the stories. Comes deep inside from me, just to be awarded with a smile of yours. Those times which we spent together alone , regardless of where it is, can be said to be the times when I am feeling real comfortable and am feeling at peace. Those heart talk with you, simply just lifted everything and seeing you, makes me smile somehow or another. Sitting by you and hugging you to sleep could be said to be the greatest acomplishment and yet, making you smile and being happy day and night was the second biggest. Seeing how comfortable you are while lying safely in the warmth of the hugs, could really be heartwarming. Those slow walks that we took to your house, with you, being so hyper and happy at the mere knowledge that i am beside you, is a feeling that can never be compared with anything in the world. This could go on and on girl but i guess it shall end here. I love you girl. I really do.

With love,
Dear

2008-06-09T20:02:00.002+08:00

Everything is back to normal. My life is normal. My relationship is normal and my health is normal.

You have become cute but retarded. I love you girl.

These few days we probably had our once in a relationship quarrel. Yesterday night you appeared and that was probably one of the night that i actually love so much that i wish that that night would never end. We played through at the start of the night and soon, we were down to being serious. Talked about everything that we once had and was known as problems and quickly settled it. Before that, surprisingly and unknowingly, she started having childish mood. I guess it is because of the long time we had not seen each other. 4 days seem so long for the both of us girl. Anyway, we played as i tried to avoid her questions and she suddenly got all so 'serious' but cute. Let me quote from one of her lines as i made my way away from her and walked to play. She said, " you dare play, you come back you die! " and i just went laughing as she said it in such a cute way with a branch in her hand. I simply just couldn't stand that and i doubt anyone could. After that, she asked those questions that she wanted to know the answer and she asked them in a cute way too.. but i simply could not just tell her the answer and thus, i declined to answer and went to play around but in the end, i got hit by the branch and which, she started asking lots of questions that are much easier to answer than those straight questions and i started answering them... and i guess everything was settled when we moved to the swing and sat down beside it. I told her everything that she needed to know and practically everything was said out and clearly.. That night soon ended as i misses her. The very cute her...

Today :

Woke up early in the morning as i went to the medic course it was supposingly from 8am to 5pm but i guess, everyone got the wrong timing as the actual thing started at 9:30am. I guess, many of the ncc guys was forced to go as when in the end, they all chose to leave except me and rui xing who stayed on as we knew that will give us knowledge. We learned CPR , mouth to mouth , and many stuff.. out of the 6 hrs that we had there, i practically slept for 2 hrs in total. I guess i was just real tired. Then we did practical with dummies and after that, tons of theory which i was like close to sleeping while i simply messaged through the whole lessons. Thank you darlin for wasting your messages on me.

Soon, the thing ended and i proceeded to meeting my dear girl. Somehow or another, time seem to spend so fast while i was being with her. And i swear darlin.. the way that you are so concern and care about me, simply makes me love you more. Then we talked, joked around, played around and i sort of slept a tiny bit and after that ending off with her sleeping. We are clean though. Then, went off with a hug and we simply just left happily with her half awake. I love you girl. Okay i am cutting things short. SAdded.. Miss you..

2008-06-07T17:17:00.001+08:00

Observant skill shall take into place and lets see how long will you be so cold and distant towards me.

2008-06-07T16:08:00.003+08:00

Acted so indifferent. Point taken.

Love.. a word which seems so big but instead so small. Loving her was said to be the biggest thing just as i forsake the others but loving her now seems to be so small compared to all the other factors that are affecting our relationship. Never knowing what is wrong as the time passes. Never bother thinking. Love can make someone really happy or sad. Being a flirt, in turns allow you to never experience sadness. So, why did i first chose to love her?

At the very beginning, i believed that she wan a specific kind of her own but as time passes, i realise that she does not know a lot of things. People are getting me to get over her and using coarse language to ask me to break up with her. This relationship may just be 3 weeks but I definitely know what words will hurt her and how bad it can hurt her. Throughout what i know from her today, i realised that i had broken her heart too many times already. This relationship could just break up anytime now.. those present that had been bought can always be broken if she does not want it.

The thing is.. i dont want to hurt her feelings again but i do not know what to do anymore. I had never knew that i had hurt you so much and didn't know that she was so unhappy in this relationship. I told her that i will learn to love her lesser but in fact, how much could all these be done. Phone calls that i hoped to receive never seem to came and only those phone call which i do not want to answer simply just came. I never called her cause i knew that she would be using the computer and she would probably only hear half of what i would be saying thats what i told her to call me every night before she sleep so as to talk with her at least properly? But i guess.. this have failed to take place.

I have failed.. in a proper relationship of mine. And i am happy to admit that i couldn't do much. The problem lies in me.. but you were never there for me when the problems or maybe something happen to me but instead, you told me that you could leave me alone when i needed you the most and all the other girls who i have shunned for so long, appears to be so concern over what is happening to me.

How am i suppose to tackle this situation which most probably is the last problem between me and her. A situation that i never once had...

2008-06-07T15:26:00.003+08:00

There seems to be so many flaws in this relationship of mine. I guess i am pretty hard to understand possibly.. you never seems to understand me. Maybe you would understand the situation but never once understand me.

You wanna know what is wrong today huh? and shall i say ask yourself, you would never figure it out. So why bother, your life does not need me girl. Your love for me is never strong enough to clear those doubt in my mind. You never seem to knew what to do no matter when i was feeling so down and stuff. You claimed that you love me but have you ever know what to do for me? I doubt so.. Believing in you and after that having doubts about other things. Maybe i am just too doubtful but i guess you are the one that make me doubt you. I loved you like i had never done for other girls.. I lost everything thats around me just to be with you but all these are futile efforts that i have done.

2008-06-06T23:51:00.002+08:00

HELLO EVERYONE.

went to vivo with my cousin and we went to ate lunch at dian xiao er. Pretty good i guess then proceed to my very good old river island to purchase some nice clothes for myself. I spent... $150+ at river island? then we went to pull and bear, zara , topman and esprit to hunt for clothes. Finally, we settled a top at topman. Its another $29. Okay... then went to do a treasure hunt for my very good darlin present and after an hour or so, im done with her items. I guess... she would probably like the present that i gave her.. hopefully.. and please she does not have those items.. Okay.. i spend close to $300 in a single day. Aren't i great. Thats all folks.

and may the baby angel be loved and missed 24/7. I love you

2008-06-06T12:49:00.001+08:00

I have nothing to do as i wait for my cousin to dress up so went to do a personality test..

Your view on yourself: You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for: You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship: You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love: You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education: You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you: You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success: You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of: You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

HOW TRUE IS THIS???? May the people that know me, judge themselves.

2008-06-06T12:34:00.002+08:00

I DID SOMETHING WHICH I COULD NEVER BELIEVE.

Its liked i did 2 hrs of maths from 3am to 5am. Surprising isnt it.. Anyway.. Had some wonderful thoughts and probably cleared everything up with her last night. And happily, i am going to go shopping with my dear cousin MR yong han. So.... we may be clowns later and will possibly blog tonight bah. Love you lots

2008-06-04T20:03:00.004+08:00

Another chance to be with you again. Cherishing and appreciating the love that we have for each other.

Today.. started the day probably at 7am.. was sad.. very sad. Tears were just flowing down as i message you and when i started to think of what to tell you. Soon, 9am. We were back together as a normal. 11am. Cherishing each other like never before. 1pm, side by side with one another. 3pm sitting outside vivo happily.. talking and maybe hugging. 5pm. In the middle of chronicles of narnia, hugging each other as the cold wind of the air con blew while trying to keep each other warm. 7pm, sending you home and now, i am at home blogging. Today, went to vivo went her.. after going to orchard and getting ourselves lost. Although it is highly impossible but somehow or another, we managed to do it. Then, decided to go to vivo where we both know that place pretty well. It seems as though all our date are at vivo.. got to change pretty soon. Then went to get tickets for chronicles of narnia after that, we went to take a walk outside vivo. It was a very nice weather compared to the past of hot and cold winds. Had a relaxing time there then went to watch our show. Sadly, behind us there are a few buggers who think that they are the world biggest and started crapping as though they have the whole cinema. After that, watched the show for 2 hrs plus then sent her home and now back home. Enjoyable time i guess. THE END

hey darlin.. today hope you have quite an enjoyable time. Its like i admit that i havent been planning our outing well but i do hope that at least enjoyed today. Yup. i have great taste in movies and i bet you will never deny it huh. The show was good but with you by my side, it was better. I love you girl. Since everything have settled, i hope that there would be no more arguements girl. Its like i dont want to argue with you but if we never make things clear, feelings would probably get neglected. Hope you enjoyed today darlin. Love you lots. Bad mrt ride, bad bus ride but i still love the times that we had in the cinema.Love you darlin girl. Mrt.. too crowded somehow and you did not get your sleep. The bus.. needless to say.. it was shakey. Anyway really had an enjoyable time with you. You showed me something different and let me felt something different from the other girls. It was pure love for you darlin. I love you.

2008-06-04T03:19:00.002+08:00

We were suppose to had an outing later but i guess everything is over. I screwed up everything and i am no longer fit to be your dear. I probably shed some tears but those will never be seen by anyone. My initial thought was to treat you preciously but as time passes by, we get drifting further and further apart. Maybe what they say is right and that is you have been single for too long. You being single makes you happy the most i guess. You will not have to worry about anything and just have your fun. Hope you enjoy the life that you once had and that will be over. I am sorry that i had made you go through such an ordeal. I really hope you learnt something from all of these and may the next guy that be with you, you would be much much better towards him. The end of a story that started on 13th of may.

You never knew how much it hurts me to say those words...

2008-06-02T01:37:00.004+08:00

Today, nothing much just slacked the whole day at home then at night went to cousin house to eat dinner. Pretty boring i guess. My new chinese tuition teacher is relatively good and he made me read like 10 essays today. Not bad huh. Read it through briefly and did one whole paper. Woot. I am good :D. Surprisingly while i was playing computer game, someone suddenly private messaged me and said that he actually admire me that i was owning while my team was feeding. It was kind of a shock but nevertheless the game sort of still ended.

Hey girl. Enough is enough. Stop thinking that you yourself is no good alright. I don't want the girl that i love to think that way. It really dampen my moods. You are really a good girl alright. At least for now or maybe for the future, you are good enough for me. I am not perfect and i don't rock or is that great. Its just that you think yourself of so lowly that you imagine i am like all so good. Oh.. and thanks for appearing like 3 hrs ago in that playground. Though the hug is short, it is definitely being enjoyed by me and that kiss.. It was warm i guess. Thank you darlin for that appearance of you. You seems to be so cute sometimes. Sometimes you speak so cute, sometimes you look so cute. Those little things that i have done for you can never be compared to alot of things. You kept saying sorry that i have to keep cheering you up but what you did not know is that cheering you up takes lot of effort and that made me sort of got into how to cheer you up than being low mood. Baby i know you are stubborn and never gave in and you even complained that i treated you too good by me keep giving in to you. So i have decided not to give in to you and shall you not give in, it will be thursday at 11.24pm. Thats the time when we will talk. Okay. Love you lots and miss you.

2008-06-01T00:23:00.002+08:00

Today went to dunno which hotel to have lunch they went to get a room then after then went to gym for like only 1hr plus -.- Anyway, had fun with my sister at the pool. After that at about 6 plus went to have a 3hr dinner. thats all. Its so short..

Hey baby hope after today you really understand that dear will always be there for you alright. I know those stories that i told you today was nonsensical but i really wanna cheer you up and stuff. You ain't that bad okay so stop thinkin that you are that bad. You are good enough for me alright. I can assure you that even if you love me more, i would not wander far away or far away from you. So... Stop askin me to treat you so good alright. I just wanna make you smile everyday and make everyday happy for you. I love you girl. And i miss those hugs... I miss you girl.. Hope whatever that i wished in the afternoon would come true one day huh? me hugging you to sleep like how it should be done. I love you. Smile you little idiot.

2008-05-31T00:05:00.004+08:00

Today, Early morning woked up at like 10am. Okay its kind of late because i talked with her till 1:30am yesterday.. Hope you have a fun time being happy last night baby. Anyway, Went out at about 1pm to her house then after that we took bus 73 and guess what? It landed at Toa payoh instead of ang mo kio so we decided to take 73 back to ang mo kio. I guess it was fun sittin on a bus for so long and in the same seat. But, eventually it was kinda stupid omg. Okay anyway, went to central then went to bugis junction to meet welly, daniel and wenxiang. Welly bought something for someone and asked me to keep it. lols. Sigh... here comes the depressing part.. We two were both busy quarreling or shall i say cold war for like 20 mins without knowing the truth and after that she have to walk away. But i guess, everything have been resolved. Then welly daniel and wenxiang have to go at like 5? After that, we went to plaze sing.. went to eat pastamania thn proceeded to her home and after that to the playground.

Hey baby although the mrt ride was like dam long but i guessed we both did enjoyed it huh. It really warmed my heart to see you awaken from me hugging you for that long tram ride. I simply just love the feeling of huggin you to sleep baby. I love you girl. And i guess what you say is right that i am real tired.. Sort of fell asleep in the playground while you were like lookin at me and makin me sleep. I love you for that baby. The bus ride... is just too shaky so... cannot sleep los. Next time shall we needa go home, we shall go further away then you can sleep more alright. Hope i am comfortable to hug baby. love you

2008-05-30T10:27:00.001+08:00

Hey everyone i'm back!

Don't really feel like posting about what happened there so... this shall be kept till next time. And i miss you girl. Okay thats all

2008-05-30T10:27:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone i'm back!

Don't really feel like posting about what happened there so... this shall be kept till next time. And i miss you girl. Okay thats all

2008-05-25T23:12:00.002+08:00

In order to make sure you do not be sad, i have got to thought up reasons and stuff to make you have no reason to be sad that i am gone. You take care of yourself alright. I sacrificed already so please do not be sad. It hurts me to say all those to you but i do not have a choice. I love you

2008-05-25T22:52:00.003+08:00

4 days 3 nights specialist course.

Hey baby good night sweet dreams sleep tight. I will be proceeding to my next part of life as i proceed towards the course. I will definitely miss you as thats part of my job as your boyfriend. I love you girl. An advance good night to all your night and an advance good morning to all your morning. Please do not get all emotional and smile more alright. I love you. Spend those 4 days well for i will dominate your life when i am back from the course. So good luck you little baby. love you

2008-05-25T22:38:00.005+08:00

Exclusively for her. I love you

Today, 25/5/08 the day when i woke up at 930am and went to find you at 1030am. I love you girl.. just as the day passed with us walkin no where slowly and aimlessly. I found an aim throughout those 4 hrs that we have had together and that is to walk with you forever. Those four hours, not a proper date to be claimed not a proper outing. It was never meant to be this way, i guess. Those 4 hrs was the time that i had intended to spend with you just holding your hand and walkin with you side by side. Though 4hrs came by unexpected and went pass unexpectedly but i guess i did what i had to do and spend them with you. Those 4hrs was just too little for us to even do anything. Those hugs that we had together those laughter that we had together was memories that i will bring towards the course when i will be isolated from the world. Those sad memories, those happy memories. Those memories when we were laughing and those memories when we were both being sad just when the day is about to end. The love that you had for me may last just as long as the love that i had for you. You asked why i love you and i explained. The feeling with you is totally different from other girls. This relationship of 12 days just seems so long already. I love you girl. 4 days of my life without you, 3 nights of my life without you are completely able to be compared to hell. Living hell i may claim , people will proclaim it as heaven. People will say that those 4 days are the days that i am leading a proper life that is without you but they do not know that those 4 days and 3 nights are hell for me as those tears started flowing down.. 4 days, 96 hours, 5760 mins, 345600 seconds are hell. Total torture total hell. Isolated from the outside world, surrounded by strangers. Not a familiar face to be seen nearby. Those hugs from you, those kisses from you. Those mere thoughts of you being sad when i am not around with you, made me feeble and weak. Made me scared and petrified for i will be worrying about you day and night, my thoughts never once leaving you. No matter how serious i may be, those thoughts will flow to you as i thought of how today had passed. I love you girl. i will be back sooner than you will ever imagine and back to be by your side. I will miss you baby.

2008-05-24T23:50:00.004+08:00

Tomorrow will be the day when i will be cutting my hair till it is so short that no one will bother to even look or take a peek at me. Specialist course is coming on monday and there goes us into the proclaimed hell for 4 days and 3 nights. I will definitely miss you guys as i fight my way through the course and to strive for the best and i love you girl.

A few pictures of my hair still being long...

Although those on top may be zi lian, those are still the last pictures that i am going to have with my so-called long hair before i proceed to my short hair and wait for it to slowly grow..

Hey darlin the camp may be just like 2 days later and i guess you should be sleepin now bah. you are just too tired but you stubbornly refuse to rest. Hope when im not with you for the four days, you would sleep early and rest more alright. You have to take care of yourself and refrain from being sad baby or dear would not be here to cheer you up or even make you smile and laugh. Monday when my message reach you, you might not even be awake but don't worry alright.. I will be fine. When i am back, no matter how exhausted, i will be out with you alright. You claim to miss me and i miss you too.. I love you girl. Don't be sad or at least.. bundle up all your sadness then blast everything to me when i am back bah. Love you lots girl. Smile :D. Nights baby. sleep tight and sweet dreams. Although i am sad that tomorrow we will not be going out, but as long as you have your fun with your friends, i am fine with it for i am also not sure if i am able to produce the same amount or even more fun than what your friends can give you so... Take care of yourself and have fun tomorrow alright. loveyou. ( i really miss you...)

2008-05-24T15:43:00.002+08:00

Currently feeling dam low.. So i shall blog with regards to my birthday some other day. probably when im back from my specialist course. take care people.

Darlin.. i miss you lots..

2008-05-22T01:28:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MYSELF

Its now my birthday today is the 22nd of may. Thank you to all that have wished me happy birthday by now? Oh and darlin your effort paid off yeah? Even though you was like so tired, you managed to send me a long long message to wish me happy birthday and congratulations for what you had in mind, paid off. yeah. I love you girl

2008-05-21T21:48:00.003+08:00

2 Hours 21 mins to my birthday. 22nd may the day that i was born. Somewhere around the night where the moon rise high up in the sky. The summer of singapore possibly. Sounds of baby wailing was heard and there i was, held in the hands of my parents. My mother remaining unconscious after the operation and my father was delighted. There comes out me, the baby that i was 15 years ago of tomorrow.

General- I guess through my tagboard, many people are opposing that i am being together with her but i guess, most of them have come to term and now is hoping that i would be together with her longer and cherish her. In the past, people says that i am playing her and she is just another of a hunter's game but now, people are saying that she is playing with my feelings for her. My feelings for her are true and from what she says, her feelings for mine are also true. This may be a lie or this may be the truth. No one really knows until this relationship really last for as long as we want. Yes, i agree that many people are questioning the possbility and how real is this relationship but, both me and her, deems this relationship as a truthful one and we both want to work it out. People may say that i am playing her, i do not deny the fact that when it comes to matters of the heart, i am a perfect and ideal one. I do have places that are significantly outstanding that people can see easily. 12345, whoever you are, i hope i can somehow know your true identity. For all the others, I, myself thank you people to even make the effort to critcise me and to defend me. Like what siying had said, attention are going around me but i guess it is only in my blog and no where else. No matter what, please accept the fact that she is my girlfriend and she will be my girlfriend till the day when both our feelings have faded away so, take it as an appeal to not critcise her and stuff and respect my decision. Thank you.

Yesterday- Went to school as normal blah blah blah and the weather was bloody shitty hot and we were like in the field having our physical education lesson and before everything even begin, we were all sweating and complaining bout the sun. We played rounders that day and after which, probably jus lessons. After school, went to find her and we proceeded to vivo after much talk talk talk on where to go. Let me summarise it. We went to get our tickets for made of honor after much arguing, and after which, spent 30 mins walkin around vivo trying to decide on what to eat. We finally went into starbucks to get ourselves 2 cups of ice mocha. Before that, we went to harbourfront centre in search of food and i found a really nice game which only small children play nowadays. Its the barney machine. Okay anyway, after walkin for like dam dam long, we managed to settle down at sushi tei which when i said i was real hungry but i ate very very little. After that, we proceeded to the cinema, catched a no plot show blah blah blah. But the show was kinda nice though yeah. The experience was pretty nice. With her by my side. Hoping that this would never end. After the show finish which was at about 645, we proceeded to the mrt and went to serangoon. Okay i shall seperate the next section.

Which we are at the mrt, someone stubbornly refuse to lie on me despite her saying that it was very comfortable and her reason was? She does not want to fall asleep. Isn't that nice. When we reached the stop which is at serangoon, some muddle headed girl managed to not know where to take the bus to her house. We first went to the first bus-stop which she claimed can proceed to her house and after 10 - 15 mins, she suddenly pulled me away and told me that it was the wrong bus-stop after that, we went to another bus stop after crossing the underpath and walking two traffic light and a very nice and cute person told me that its a wrong bus-stop again and that was after waitin for about 7 min FINALLY, we went to the right bus-stop to wait for the bus but we had to wait for about 15mins for the bus before we finally proceed towards her house.

Today- Went to watch movie with likiong, vanessa and her. The movie, personally was boring and i sort of slept through half of it while lying on her shoulder. The warm feeling of her care and her worrying, made me feel so comfortable that i jus fell asleep. There would never be such a feeling twice for i know some feelings only happen once and there goes it. The show we watched was accuracy of death, i think. The end

The walk towards your house darlin. Although it may be long and although it may be a hot day but the walk really made me feel being closer to you. Its like i hope to walk you home everyday and probably every night after we had a fun time. Though the weather is hot, the hug from you definitely warmed my heart and probably threw whatever problems that i have then to the back of my head. Shall there be a chance, i wish that eveyday would be like yesterday and every movie that we watch together would be like today. The care and concern that you showed me, the way that you was pondering whether i was asleep and the worryin mind of yours that i did not have enough sleep, definitely made me sleep for the first time in a movie. I love you girl. There was like many many other guys in the world but you chose to be with me. I might not be the best guy in the world but i am still glad that i am with you. Typing this, the feeling of missing you seems to be building up inside me. It seems like as though you had never left me and you are just right beside me but i can never experience that hug now. My birthday, tomorrow.. how i wish i could spend it with you jokin and laughin but i guess that would not be the case. I jus want to take care of you like how a boyfriend takes care of his girlfriend but i guess you are the one that is takin care of me. Those long walks that we had and those times that we spend together, really made me more attached and more in love with you. Alexandra i just wanna tell you i love you. Regardless of what others may say, some things will never change. We may not suit, but we definitely would persist in this relationship. That hug right outside your home.. I wished i had never let you go and never returned home. I really miss hugging you girl. I really do. It was definitely comfortable and i wish all these would never stop. I love you

2008-05-17T10:26:00.004+08:00

Its 5 more days to my birthday.

I shall not post about my daily shits but shall post about whats currently happening in my blog. It seems like many people have their opinion regardless of good or bad to me steading with her. Let me make it clear that she did not threw herself at me and when i asked her, she rejected me a few times base on the issues that you people are like currently arguing about. First, i would like to thank 12345( anonymous) for whatever his/her statement will be as whoever that i stead with, regardless of whether his comments would be good or bad, he/she does not make it seems like its the end of the world unlike others. Joey, gwen, nicolette are those that are probably trying to defend what seems to be right to them and how well they understands the involving parties and defending them in this case and for you are ass.sified, i do not really understand what you are trying to do. Its either you are strictly going against the girl i am with now or you are just trying to stir up trouble.

Whatever it is, this matter have to come into conclusion. As i have said before, no matter how you criticise her, the person i stead with will not change. It's like when you think about it, just a few comments of people that could not take your stead and you have to change it. All these comments may affect her shall she read everything but there is the good and the bad. Maybe those comments would make her seems so lousy so i would kindly ask you people to stop it. Making people feel lousy does not really helps. Shall you leave your name there and people go find you about it, you will also not feel good too. The fact that i did not tag much was that it seems so silly that people are trying to bring her down and maybe want me to break up with her due to that but its like we know we both don't suit each other. Before you guys even said it, we knew it by heart but can't two people that doesn't suit each other be together and try to get along together? I hope you people that is criticising all of these would think about it. All these things that you people have said, may only cause us to be much further apart and after that what happens? Heart being broken again? It is just kind of dumb for people to even continue all of these nonsense. I once again kindly urge you people to stop it.

The girl that i will be with, will never be changed no matter what you people say and i will treat her much better since you people are saying all these words. I have to cherish her just in case we do break up cause of your words? The fact that i managed to get her is not because that she is cheap but it merely shows that is the feelings in between. 5 or 6 times that i have been rejected because of various reasons and one would be because i just broke up with me ex. Does this really seems that she is cheap? If it really seems so, then what exactly is cheap. If she is cheap, she would just accepted me the very first time that i asked her but it is not in this case. She rejected me and rejected me time and again so as to create all these fuss and commotion that is happening? I don't think so. So guys please stop it. Whatever positive or negative comments you have, it is gladly much appreciated but please do not do a personal attack. At least not on a girl that someone likes. If your girlfriend got scolded by other people what would you do? Think before you do things people. Thats all.

I know you will read this so.. i love you girl

2008-05-14T17:31:00.002+08:00

I hereby make it clear that i did not two-timed my ex when i was with her and the relationship that i developed with other girls is after i broke up with her due to various reasons that i do not wish to say out to protect the welfare of the other party. Me and alexandra was good friend when i was with my ex just like how you people had your good friends even though you are with a stead. So please close the two-timing case and whoever that i chose, its purely on my decision and i think you have no rights to comments for my close brothers are all in favor of this.

2008-05-13T23:35:00.004+08:00

I regretted treating you that nice and i regretted even being with you. Its like treating you in the relationship so what? The end result i get from you is lots of shit that i never would have expected it to come from you. When i even told you after mid-year what did you fucking did? you flirted around like some desperate shit. Who is more desperate then. Whatever that you said about me, have you ever thought was you like that too. You made me beg like some dog whenever you get angry and who wouldn't be sick and tired of it. Whenever i get angry, its always you getting angry in the end and i have to beg like a dog to make you happy once again. 9 months of constantly doing that. Who in the world will feel good. You had to play with break up when i was sick and totally stress up and now you come blaming me. You want me to act like a dog when i am sick and stress? You called me so many times in a day that i got so bloody frustrated that i wanted to threw away my phone. Even when i was at the most tired state, you persisted in calling me even though i told you not to and not because i did not wanted to talk to you but instead, i was too tired to talk through the phone and try to make you happy. You always wanted things your own way and never cared about others. Whenever you tried to do something, you wanted your own way, i never was allowed to do anything else. Whenever i was too tired or stress up with things and wanted to just peacefully take a rest, you just wanted me to act like a clown for you. Whatever that you have brought me down on your blog, have you ever thought on how you reacted to everything? I guess there will be more problems from now on but i shall just make do with it. The reason that i did not broke up with you was because i was scared you would get distracted from your studies but i guess i was wrong to even care and drag on with this relationship that have should not even have lasted.

2008-05-13T20:21:00.002+08:00

This is in tribute to her with regards to: Alexandra Loves Me. Thats How She Prove That She Love Me.By Me Writing This On My Blog And Hopefully, On Her Blog Too.

From: Alexandra, Jingxiang
To: Jingxiang, Alexandra
Date: 13052008
Subject: How to prove I love you

Dear Jingxiang/Alexandra,
I love you.

Alexandra/
Jingxiang
With loves.

P.S. Shall the involving party insist that this is a lie or it is done through a one-sided process, please do state your comments in the tagbox. Please note that this is for the involving party only which in this case, is alexandra and do take note that she does not write in this way but instead, added much more lovely dovey stuff which should not be said here and that the meaning up there is a summarised meaning of the whole message.

2008-05-13T20:17:00.004+08:00

130508

This is the day that i guess its worth remembering, Its the day when my brother, wen xiang was borned and the day that i stead with alexandra despite all the bad remarks and comments with regards to my choice.

Anyway, for wen xiang birthday. me and lip koon , bought him a G-string and bra which he promised to wear it if we buy but he did not. We managed to buy him that after walking outside the shop for about 15-20mins. After which, we went to buy a very very nice chess set for our good brother here and i shall keep the price confidential. Today, arrived early morning to pass him his bra and panties but he did not wear it as promise. What a liar. BOOOO!!!!. Okay i shall not blog about studies. After school, went to jack's place and celebrated wen xiang birthday and justin belated birthday. We managed to keep lively i guess and played. We got a cake for Wen xiang and justin too.. Then, there were the photos taking blah blah blah. The bill came out and it was $237. I guess it was relatively cheap for so many people bah. Thats all i guess. After that, we went to hub and walk walk play play talk talk. Okay thats all. Its 9 days time to me and welly birthday. Thats nice isn't it? Brothers forever.

I love you alexandra. After much waiting, crying and stuff, we are still together huh. I told you that we will be together ^^. We shall be together like always okay? ~sensored sentence that is far too sensitive to be said here.~ i love you darlin. I will let you spend time with your friends de but must spend time with me too or i will bite you ^^. 130508. i love you

2008-05-10T12:02:00.002+08:00

Eventually, i still ended up without a stead. But i am glad that i used the time of yesterday night to end all of these. It was a relieve. You asked whats is our relationship now and that would prolly be more than friends less than lovers bah. Anyway you happy its alright with me already. One side happy, both side happy. I hope this decision i made was a good one.

After all, no girls would probably leave me. They would be caring about me 24/7 but the thing is i could not be selfish and take both side. I made the decision to gave up on one hoping to be with the other but i guess the outcome was not like that. Waiting and waiting. One week, then one month. How long can i actually wait, i have no idea but i guess i will continue to live my life of a single and after that, then see how bah. Anyway i love you girl

Yesterday: Went out with my bros. First went to amk hub to wait for welly who is late cause of council meeting. Anyway, we went to amk mrt station and we saw vanessa waiting for alexandra but nvm cause welly came first so we went off to plaze sing to catch our movie. It was pure fun yesterday, joking and playing around. We went to watch what happen in vegas which was like bloody fuckin nice and funny. All the show that we have been catching was fucking nice omg. Its like we sort of chose all the right show to watch. We played and played and joke around. Oh yes, While we was moving into plaza sing, one of the starhub employees was giving out flyers and we wanted to help him take everything here goes the conversation

ME: "You giving out flyers ah"
He: " Ya help me ask your friend take also"
ME: " We help you take all lah, save your time"
HE: " He said no"
XM: " Your boss here ah"
HE: " Fuck my boss lah"

after which, we went away laughing cause it was like so fucking funny. And welly was not on the right side that day. People kissing at escalator he shouted over and say he want to kiss also and he kept touching us. What a pure gay. But nvm it was fun. After that, we went to wheelock place to find out goody good teacher ms gan. We went to had lunch with her after at far east plaza and at the same time we were all joking and playing around. What we ate, i shall keep it a secret. Anyway, ms gan break was soon over and its like wtf, so fucking fast but still we had our fun. After that, all proceeded home as everyone was too full and bloated and tired. The end

2008-05-08T15:17:00.001+08:00

I am currently madly in love with a girl.
I do not know why i am madly in love with her.
But i swear she can make me happy whenever i am down.
She sways along with my mood and she is the girl that i love.
I love her

2008-05-08T14:16:00.000+08:00

I am probably in a very low mood now. I do not really know why. Probably it was because i know i am going to lose someone now. The feeling of tears that is going to flow down seems to be so familiar, does it mean that i really am going to lose someone? Tomorrow is physics paper and also the day that we agreed to be together but i guess the second one will not come true. I admit i am a flirt probably but i went to play with her without the meaning of flirt. I am going to lift weights now and tear my muscle. THE END

2008-05-07T13:59:00.003+08:00

THE GUARD OF HONOR PHOTOS ARE UP FINALLY

Okay lets talk about today. Had my chemistry paper today and i guess it was kinda easy? i spent one hour doing it and the other half an hour drawing :D Tomorrow will be two of my so called good subject which is biology and mathematics. Hope biology will be easy though and i can score well. Today i did something which i do not know why i did it. I actually hugged someone in front of about 30-60 people? Not bad huh. I swear that was random. And after which many people asked me why did i do that. I have no idea. Lols. I shall continue talkin to the person that i hugged today.

Loves

2008-05-07T13:22:00.022+08:00

Guard of Honor Photos

The Solos' -

Precision Drill Squad Guard of Honor Photos' -

The one on the top left is not clear cause i do not really know what happened.

With Our Master Sergeant, Staff Sergeant Photos'-

THATS THE END FOR GUARD

OF HONOR PICTURES!

2008-05-06T17:52:00.012+08:00

16 days to my birthday and i'm probably going to spend it alone i think.

Puppy= darlin = you = i love you - Maths equation that i derived from msn.
<33>I really hope you can be faithful and love me like how you had done since the past. <33

Sacrificing friends for relationship which is more with is. Is friends > relationship or is relationship> friends. I think in this case everyone have their own opinion. Sacrificing friends for relationships, may seem to be dumb but never do they know that in a relationship, you derived a happiness that is much more better than with friends. That is the reason why at many times i chose to choose relationships over friends. I guess i am tired now and need lots of rest and a girl to be with that does not cause me problem but instead make me stress-free. Message me when you want to be with me alright. loves

Its how many days after my break up wit her? I don't bother knowing neither did i bother caring. All i know now is how to treat other girls better and not be like who i am in this relationship. Probably the breaking up changed me, and the both of us. You called me many times neither did i bother nor did i reply cause i know if you don't let it go. I could not. I was glad last night you told me that you had put down everything. At least that allows me to get on with life and probably go into a new relationship that i had always wanted.

People are stopping us from being together but i know eventually we will be together for the person that you want to be with is me. I hope its this case for i know when i am with you and once people know bout it, i am going to get lots of criticism bout why i chose you. In that case, i hope i did not choose the wrong girl. Although at many times when i thought about it, i've got the feeling that we do not suit each other but nevertheless i am willing to give this relationship a try regardless of whether it will work out fine or not. I love you. You may never accept this as the truth, you may never have me inside your heart but still , i love you. I means me and loving you means appreciating and caring about you..

Yesterday, A maths paper and history paper. History paper was a mess with the source but fortunately a maths paper was easy. Considering that studyin is important, i made quite a few careless mistake here and there. Today.. E maths and chinese paper. This chinese paper was probably the most easiest i have had ever done in mid year exams. Although i will never guarantee a high mark due to the fact that my current chinese tuition teacher suck , but i did my best in doing what my old chinese teacher used to teach me. Elem maths - 2.5 hours and i used 1hr to finish while busy sleeping for 1.5 hours. I'm probably too tired but i think i should be able to certain my results. Tomorrow chemistry paper.. whatever that comes out, i'm gonna do it how its suppose to be done but nevertheless, i will be studying for it tonight just like how i should be doing...

Im probably getting addicted to the computer and im addicted to being a loner. I don't like to talk anymore and i hardly talked. The freedom i am having now is the freedom of a loner where i do not need to bother and care about anythin except for her. I think i shall continue to do this. The end. THE STORY OF MR MIL AND MR HOP WILL BE UP SOON. WHEN ONE OF THE KEY PLAYERS IS WILLING TO ACCEPT AN INTERVIEW.

i still miss hugging that sweet and comfortable you . I just feel relax when i am with you and i will never regret steading with you. I love you.

loveyou darlin

2008-05-04T20:27:00.001+08:00

I can ensure you that it have all ended. I will move on with my life and i believe you could too. When i was with you, you never cherish what i do for you. But when i left you, you say you miss it and stuff. I gave you the freedom you had, you better cherish it well. I will move on with life and start a new relationship whenever i deem fit to suppress the relationship that we have had. Good bye

2008-05-01T21:26:00.002+08:00

MY BIRTHDAY IS 21 DAYS LATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT IM SPENDING IT WITH NO ONE CAUSE MY FAMILY NOT FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE WOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO

2008-05-01T21:24:00.004+08:00

I AM FEELING FUCKING AND HAPPY AND RELIEVED.

MY NEW STORY WILL BE TOLD PRETTY SOON BY THE VERY CLEVER ME AND THE VERY CLEVER ..............

2008-05-01T17:13:00.003+08:00

Hey dear i guess i really haven't been spending much time with you bah. But what do you want from me? There is like study stress and everything. I admit when people ask you where am i and im not there, im sorry but do you really want me to be there beside you 24/7? Maybe this break up will both give us time to think about what we really want. You said that we both are two different type of people. In that case, i let you have your way bah. Two different type of people is what you say. If you will be happy this way, i am all fine with it.

2008-04-30T21:20:00.006+08:00

I don't want you to be down and not hyper. Having you down and not hyper really makes me feel sad and feel tired somehow. You being hyper always bring up my mood and make me smile somehow or another. I'm not afraid to say to you here and that is i love you darlin. I really do. For my sake, can you get hyper soon and probably get much much hyper then before? I love you.

okay lets summarise what had happened to me for the past few days.

Sunday- Early morning vomited my bile and my stomach hurts till i cried which eventually led me to the doctor who poked a needle into my right arm which hurts till now. Diagnosed- Food poisoning. How cool is that. When i thought i will get well soon after the injection, but instead, my stomach was still being so painful that when i slept, i practically woke up. WOW. Cool. After which i puked rapidly and caught a fever. Then, i went to my cousin house and was given another medicine and i swear i was seriously weak that i couldnt get up and let me see..fever again. Okay end of story after that i slept and slept but i slept beside the toilet bowl cause i got tired of vomiting as i rapidly vomited until my mother asked me to go to bed.

Monday- English composition and chinese compo. My english compo was like perfect but i dont think that it kinda link to the question but somehow or another, i linked it back. But i guess the story was not kinda link to the question. Anyway im glad that i wrote such a perfect story when i did not ate for 1 whole day. My hand was cramping every now and then and so is my stomach. After which, i flew back home and died for the rest of the day. How cool is that. Dear i promise you i wil spend time with you after mid year.

Tuesday- Social studies and english comprehension. Social studies was fine and i manage to scrape through it with the help of my darlin so... Thank you darlin. Anyway while my hand was busy cramping, So while i was writing and interpreting the source based question, i had quite a hard time and i manage to finish it on the dot which was pretty bad i think. For my SEQ i think i sort of lack of points but anyway i still did it. So... COngrats to myself. English comprehension... i sort of interpret one question wrongly and my summary which i think i did not bad should be fine. But im scared if its my english teacher marking our paper. For she is strict. Sad cAse

Today- Went to school like a normal child. Had 3 mr ang period, got back my a maths plus e maths paper. A maths-100. E maths- 60. My very good maths teacher is pretty stubborn about the allocation of marks. But i don't really blame him. After all, he have been like teaching for the past dunno how many many year. He went through on what will be coming and i think it is relatively easy. Okay nvm after which mdm ng came in. Slack awhile go recess then come back study biology. And had our biology test which i think was kind of hard plus easy then after that had chemistry test. Which is easy as long as you know valency and stuff. Okay anyway summarise- saw 2 teachers for today and thats mdm ng and mr ang today. now im back home and is talkin to someone that is feeling unhappy which i don't know why but i hope she will be happy soon. Cause everyone deserve to be happy don't they? End of post FULLSTOP And i promise you i will give you back the time that i did not spend with you. Ever since the start okay.

If you are sick, i hope not , then faster recover alright. You have to get back on your feet and start doing what you like which is studying okay. Love you lots dear. I will not wake you up tonight cause you have been really lack of sleep. You wanna blame me, you wanna scold me or even break up with me, i wont mind but i will not wake you up!

2008-04-26T01:26:00.002+08:00

HELLO EVERYONE!!! Happy nine months too <33

The time now is like 1:26am on my clock and guess im not sleeping yet? Its like how many saturday have i actually stayed up late? not alot i guess. Everyone is getting sick nowadays and when i fell sick last week, all i get was tons of naggings and naggings about drinking water resting and stuff.

I wonder who really does care about me. Will the one that cares stand forward ands say a simple i do? Or will he/she not. Mid-year exams is just 3 days away, and so happen my first paper is english but think bout it, english need a clear mind to tackle and understand the questions its not about how much you have revised and study. Due to mid-year exams, i have not been spending much time with anyone and is recently very tired. Sleeping seems to be the best solution but whenever i sleep, there is disturbance. For example, this afternoon when i slept at 4 and woke up at 530, the time is the disturbance. Isn't that dumb?

9 months have passed since i stead with her. Thinking about the past, i probably have spoilt her too much and i think everyone knows that right? Taking things for granted is not good. You may just lose it the next moment. Although sometime i really want to jus let it all go for you seems indifferent, when i look at the amount of stress and homework thats piling up on you, i thought to myself that maybe she have got to study and thus, neglecting me. I dont really mind that, why would I. Studies is the most important. Everyone agrees with that right. So, i will give you support physically and mentally.

Alright lets go down to what i did today - went to school blah blah blah then go for the hamlet play thats at raffles hotel which is said to be the MOST posh hotel in singapore. what crap is that? anyway, the show is rather interesting but when it comes to the break, everyone starts becoming restless and after that break, from what i know is that all the Ncc cadets all fell asleep. Tiredness is really taking its toll on everyone. Then after that, went back to school blah blah blah. Oh yes, someone phone rang at the theater and nothin happened but the teacher managed to take away one phone? With regards to phone, the safety and security of my school is really going down now. Once a week or so, there would be people losing items and stuff. It also seems that the one taking are the one that are suppose to be helping the students. Okay whatever it is, its wrong for you to let people steal your things. you have to be responsible. What exactly are you people thinking?

Hey( to people that are sick) - you people have to drink more water alright. After all , i have been pathetically sick once and i bloody regretted it for not taking medicine and drinking water etc etc etc. Try drowning yourself in water.

Interview for Ncc is coming like next week or maybe delayed abit. To all the seniors that i have seen, the all said they wanna make me cry. Is crying that easy? or is it just letting go a little tiny bit of tears to satisfy others feeling? Who knows?

Okay im off now. good bye. will post the Guard of honour pictures real soon. tata

2008-04-12T10:39:00.001+08:00

I wanna carry on this relationship with you, you probably have forgotten but your present is going to arrive on monday. I do not really mind if you have forgotten for it meant to be a surprise. Your first message of the day was a break up message, i thought it would be a nice message instead of a break up message but you seriously surprised me. If you life would be better, i do not mind breaking up with you. After all, you have to study. I hope your decision do not persist girl. I love you.

2008-04-11T22:11:00.001+08:00

Hey dear please stop being so stress alright you gotta relax and take things in stride if not later you burst ah not only your leg wrap up in pear, later your head also wrap up like pear then die le wor. HOw ah ?!? Fly lor i think you know what i mean huh. love you lots <33

2008-04-06T10:05:00.003+08:00

pulau ubin had always, and still is, a splendid place for both work and play. while the singapore sun is circulating the hot summer air in the atmosphere, the quietness and peace would render any charging bull immobilized -- enjoying the sudden sangfroid. the isolation and seclusion from the world would enable the addict Joe to pursue his own importunate demands. and he would surely succeed.

2008-04-05T15:07:00.002+08:00

Oh shit my mind is getting in a daze and the world seems to be spinning while I'm seeing white lights.. am I gonna not be able to take it soon? cause this is not the first time i'm seeing this but i guess even you have people close to you does not make a difference for you wont be able to talk to them. My mind is getting compressed at the moment and it hurts. While im typing this, i realise that im using lots of force to type it but not only for the keyboard and at the same time my handphone keypad.. its hurting i guess.

The end of my life. <3

2008-04-05T11:30:00.003+08:00

Hello everyone its saturday today although im suppose to go to malaysia early morning but i guess i overslept.

Lets see.. yesterday, went to visit atiqah at the hospital but i guess she was quite alright already as she was smiling? hmm then after that went to take bus but we missed a 166 then must like wait for 15 min for a 851 to come its darn stupid though causing her to go home late.

Last night- had a quarrel with you( you know who are you) and probably lost you already although i know i had done it over but so be it. i wanna change back the time if I'm able to but i guess no matter what i said everything is just over so... thank you for everything and if there was like a chance, i hope we can be back to how we were two nights ago. I love you. Thanks for being there for me always i really appreciated it. Anytime you need me, just find me alright. I will be there for you just like how you had been there for me.

hey girl if you happen to read this post, dun get angry or jealous first and message me and ask me why alright. Trust me thats the best. i will explain to you and i believe you will trust me and i guess i have explained it to you already. so.. smile and i wont be sticky de.. somethings only you understand bah. :D

Don't really know what to blog about le. and oh yes there is a dam bias teacher that keep either pick on me or my friend. Last term my friend this term me. Dam suay. Dunno if this teacher got problem or what. He can treat different people thats doing the same thing differently. Anyway, i guess i shall not be sticky anymore. Okay will come back and blog pretty soon.. bye bye.

Story

2008-04-03T21:52:00.002+08:00

Hey have not been blogging for pretty long!! maybe will get back to blogging pretty soon huh? Oh yes a story that i just wrote a few mins ago which i spent like 1hr doing it here goes :

Ever since our chief died, it have always been me and Ah Siao fighting for the post of the chief. In the underworld, we are both known to the others as the right and left hand man of the chief. Although there were many fights, none of us was separated as we both know about the importance of brotherhood and loyalty ever since we first joined the gang. It was the year 1995 when we, me and Ah Siao got expelled from school for fighting. We had always been the best of friends in school and never once, did one of us ran away when the other was in need. Whenever someone get hurts, the other would always be there to help even if it meant we both were getting beaten up, no one would leave the other party behind. Although ultimately Ah Siao was awarded the post of chief, I still felt jealous even though he was my brother, someone who I could count on in times of need. Jealousy just seems to act up upon me ever since then and I could always remember it so clearly what actually happened.

Ten years ago, when our chief was still alive, we fought battles together, fighting for territory and at the same time defending others from snatching away ours. The strength of brotherhood allowed us to stay alive till now and as we had expanded to be one of the greatest gang, at the same time competition was increasing for we all know that the chief is going to die one day or another and its either me or Ah Siao, the left and right hand man, to get the post of the chief. Soon, unexpectedly early, the chief died peacefully on his bed without leaving any will or passed any word to anyone on who is going to get the post of chief. Ever since the chief died, it was chaotic and us, being the second biggest after our chief decided to only choose a replacement after the 49 days of mourning for him. Although that was the initial plan, the juniors did not bother. They rebelled and some even wanted to take control of specific territory. At that very point of time, my innate instinct was to curb the chaos of the gang. A gang will never be strong if it was not united.

Upon the 27^th day of the mourning, A fight broke out within the gang members and at the very point of time, we, the biggest among them decided to select a leader on the spot. There was supporters for me and at the same time for Ah Siao and thus, the elderly of the gang could not decide on who to choose to be the gang leader. Although I had not mind if Ah Siao was to be the leader for he have been a close brother, but I could tell that he was not ready to be a leader to lead the whole gang to fight for territories and to win battles. He did not have the will to command them and was not sure what to do either therefore, he pushed it back to me the be the leader. But, since no one could decide on who to be the leader, the elderly decided to hold a competition and thats to draw a ice-cream stick and whichever stick that have the word dead on it, would be ask to complete a specific job but at the very same time, the one without the 'dead' stick, would also be ask to complete a job that was not too risky.

The time came, and as everyone gathered we( me and Ah Siao) proceeded to pick our ice-cream stick. And just so 'fortunate' I picked the one with the word 'dead' carve on it. I thought I would be lucky but that was not the case. Instead, I was given the task to kill a rival gang leader and I know it would be hard but at the very same time, Ah Siao was merely asked to fight for another territory that could easily be gotten without much effort. The deadline was 11pm on that day and I could not make up my mind whether I would proceed to killing the rival gang leader. But without any hesitation, Ah Siao was busy recruiting men for the battle while I was told specifically to do the task by myself. It was not fair but I proceeded. I went to the restaurant where the gang leader was having his dinner but beside him, all I could see was tons of men that look as though anyone of them could kill me easily. At that point of time, I thought whether to proceed with my task or shall I just fall back and let Ah Siao take over the chance to be the head of the gang, It could not have been fair as Ah Siao was known to be down on luck for picking ice-cream stick but this time, he was lucky. Ah Siao was easily known in our gang as the death wisher for he never fail to pick the ice-cream stick with the word dead on it. I decided to just take one step back and let Ah Siao take over as the gang instead of I myself sending myself to death.

Soon, 11pm passed and I was summoned back to the room where we held our regular meetings. Ah Siao walked in confidently as he had won the battle against the rival gang. I walked in slowly, dragging my feet with me and sat down. I thought to myself why should I blame myself? Ever since young, Ah Siao have always been luckier than me and he never fail to get better than me. Even when we both did not study, he managed to get 1 mark higher than me every time. And, Whenever I took a liking to a girl, he would snatch it from me after I told him, without fail. Just when I started thinking of how Ah Siao took away the girl I loved, the voice of the elders brought me back to reality. They announced that Ah Siao would be the rightful leader to our gang but I knew, he was incompetent but still, he got it. I was jealous and kept blaming my parents for giving me such a life that could not achieve anything. I had thought this was the once when I am going to make my mark but instead, Ah Siao was one step ahead of me. I did not think it was fair for I have done my part and I was jealous that the elders actually helped Ah Siao to win the draw by specifically marking a spot on the ice cream stick which was said to be 'clean'.

It was 5 years after Ah Siao took over and although our gang is thriving from the illegal businesses that it had made, but the territory that we had were getting lesser and lesser for Ah Siao had lost interest in the gang and changed to playing with girls' feelings. That was when, my girlfriend who I had loved dearly left me and when to Ah Siao. Up till this very moment, I could still not take it as Ah Siao have won me in everything including snatching away my girlfriend who was with me regardless of the ups and downs in life. I still live with regrets that I did not kill the leader but at least, I know that if I had done so, I probably would not have the life to live till now as soon after, we received news that someone wanted to kill the leader and those around him were all armed with knifes and parangs. Although the gang would soon be destroyed by Ah Siao, I could not do anything but instead just watch as the gang was being destroyed by Ah Siao own hands.

Although it might not be very nice but make do with it though. 1341 words leh not bad le hor. HAhas okay g2g will come back and blog pretty soon.

Oh yes dear, sorry for venting so much on you. Its like pretty stressful and stuff although i know i should not vent on you. I will make you smile and make you happy de. count on me girl :D

2008-03-22T12:30:00.000+08:00

Hey dear now its time for you to cheer up already wor. Yesterday you spend so much effort trying to cheer me up but today i dunno how to cheer you up.. :( all i can say is ur dear will be here and when you need someone to talk to, your dear is always here alright. Cheer up baby. Hope can see you real soon. love you

2008-03-21T23:32:00.002+08:00

Hey everybody im back from camp but not really going to post about it cause its dam long, dam exciting dam interesting and dam lots of things to learn. probably next time when my mood comes back then i will start blogging about camp bah. Let me tell you guys something anyway: When you die, there will be two date mark on your gravestone that is your birth and your death date but those date are not important but instead, its the process. You wanna die with lots of success or do you wanna die with nothing in your life. Those 3 days. The last day, the day when the 36 of us was selected out of 9 classes, the 10km run the 1h 10mins of holding up taught probably all of us something. No man gets left behind. Everyone comes and go together as one. None will be left behind. Even if the person dies, we have to carry his body back to base camp. To be continued when my mood regains

Lets talk bout today. Went to suntec then after that go to kbox but before i even reached there was already moodless. Let me see i probably scolded someone last night cause of don't know what reason but so be it.

To one that suppose to read this: Hey girl im sorry but do you even realise that i have changed after the camp? Do you realise that your dear is so tired and do you even realise that at the slightest of things your dear is making a big fuss out of it? Those smile was genuine i swear but its just that im troubled by tons of things which i do not even know? I doubt anyone can even talk me out of everything but i guess its true no one can talk me out of it huh? Anyway, its like I know you have been trying to make me happy but i guess i just cant myself to bring myself back into mood? Many question marks there is but i still dunno why there is so much of it. For some apparent reasons, my worries are back and that is that you might just erm.. get too close to other guys somehow or another. Probably you havent been assuring me well enough? I don not know.. I know when you read this, you will be sad and you will say i have to trust you but when someone mood is real low, everything does not feel right but i guess you dun really understand this right? since you are a hyper little girl. To continue this, i have talked like the most minimum for 9 hrs already not bad aren't I? I'm really half dead fully moodless. Baby i really love you but i really dunno what to do. Can anyone teach me what to do? At least you please? Honestly dun sad bout this post.. cause its meant to be like this since you asked me to post.

2008-03-16T21:01:00.003+08:00

Hello everyone ^^ once again im back here A very good morning to every too

March 14, two days ago Thats the day when i and her when to watch step up 2. It was indeed a very nice show with all the cool dance move but it was said to be no plot after all.. so.. whether its nice or not that would be a question or another. Oh yes, i saw yuenman and winteng while at hub and coincidentally we saw them outside the toilet. Isn't that surprising? After which, we went to pepper lunch then we made our way to heartland mall at kovan for her to meet her friends. It was fun, totally fun even though we spent only 5 hours together but it definitely seem long.

March 15, yesterday Everything went normal until 430 pm and that was the time that i went to meet her and once again, she was complaining about me depriving her of food etc etc etc. Today, our destination was pasir ris park. It was meant to go there and relax and go to my "mother' birthday. We arrived at hougang mall to take a mrt and so happen, we manage to find a present there after half and hour? although thats long but, im tired so.. so be it ahahah. then we went to take mrt to pasir ris for a long 45 mins and after that proceed to bus 403 to get to pasir ris park. ( although i kept asking you to drink plain water, but its best for you.. so.. make do with it) then after which we to pasir ris park but we got down at the other end of it so.. its another 30 mins walk to the bbq pit that joanne was having. As we walk, we talked and probably talked about everything. With laughter and smiles, we reached there in no time. At night, bus 300+ to take to pasir ris interchange then took 88 back which i sort of lost my way while stopping at some random stop? okay nvm its kinda stupid. Thats all for these two days.

For the past two days, i messaged you tons of love stuff although they were all proposal that you have to sacrifice, its stil proposal that you accepted. I hope you will abide by the proposal and let the both of us have a long and happy relationship. Shall you forget, this is the proposal again - Will you throw away your past and start your first and long relationship with me? Will you let me have you everything( Physical, emotional and mental)? Will you let me be the most important in your heart? The condition that i can give back to you is utmost care and concern plus a complete true and long love. I love you.

2008-03-13T12:42:00.003+08:00

Hi everyone!! Im just back from the rain after passing the keys of my love one back to her.

Indeed, it was raining but at many a times while it was raining, our moods tend to sway with it too. Its like what exactly is wrong that is raining? My mood have been swaying for the past few days and the bad thing about is, is that the ones that are closest to me are getting all the anger, the swings and probably also the frustrations. For example, i quarreled with her over the slightest of things today. It was stupid, i know that but come to think of it, why did i do that? After every break up or quarrels, probably we both learn, learn how to make this relationship a better one.First, sorry to my girl and a friend of mine by the name of alexandra. Today, the rain probably wash my thoughts off and made myself to gain abit more of wisdom.

Good bye and take care everyone

2008-03-10T23:00:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone im back from the camp.

Although we got punk'd by our seniors but that made me learn one thing and that is that in NCC is not about being the biggest but instead, having the responsibilty for taking care of your junior.
After getting owned, i have thought about it and that is by the end of the day when i get my post, i will not say that im not happy with it but instead, i will think what have i done to achieve it. Indeed 3 days have past and its not easy to be a leader. Without others helping, being a leader is tough thats why, there are people assisting a leader.

Dear, i shall make this be known throughout that read my blog and that is that you know i love you and i wont stop loving you. It was not a waste but instead, i know what i want and i know what i have to achieve. No matter how hurting ur words can be, it wont affect me for i know your love would be able to mend back those pain that i have.

Many of times, many people think that in a relationship, a guy should be the man of the man but in a true relationship, the guy should instead let the girl have its way when its time to and be able to safekeep their own girl. Thats the end of my post.

2008-03-04T22:00:00.009+08:00

Hi i'm back again for i have more news regarding 2012. Its important and everyone should take attention to what is happening. Shall i not spread about 2012 in school, many would not have known.

This is taken from http://www.2012.com.au/Site.A.html:

2012 unlimited philosophy

1. Humanity and Planet Earth are currently going through a huge change or shift in consciousness and reality perception.

2. The Mayan civilization of Central America was and is the most advanced in relation to time-science knowledge. Their main calendar is the most accurate on the planet. It has never erred. They actually have 22 calendars in total, covering the many timing cycles in the Universe and Solar System. Some of these calendars are yet to be revealed.

3. The Mayan fifth world finished in 1987. The sixth world starts in 2012. So we are currently "between worlds". This time is called the "Apocalypse" or revealing. This means the real truth will be revealed. It is also the time for us to work through "our stuff" individually and collectively.

4. The Mayan sixth world is actually blank. This means it is up to us, as co-creators, to start creating the new world and civilization we want now.

5. The Mayans also say that by 2012-
- we will have gone beyond technology as we know it.
- we will have gone beyond time and money.
- we will have entered the fifth dimension after passing through the fourth dimension
- Planet Earth and the Solar System will come into galactic synchronization with the rest of the Universe.
- Our DNA will be "upgraded" (or reprogrammed) from the centre of our galaxy. (Hunab Ku)

6. In 2012 the plane of our Solar System will line up exactly with the plane of our Galaxy, the Milky Way. This cycle has taken 26,000 years to complete. Virgil Armstrong also says that two other galaxies will line up with ours at the same time. A cosmic event!

7. Time is actually speeding up (or collapsing). For thousands of years the Schumann Resonance or pulse (heartbeat) of Earth has been 7.83 cycles per second, The military have used this as a very reliable reference. However, since 1980 this resonance has been slowly rising. It is now over 12 cycles per second! This mean there is the equalivant of less than 16 hours per day instead of the old 24 hours. Another intrepetation is - we, or rather Consciousness have been down this same road seven times before over the last 16 billion years. Each of these cycles of Creation runs 20 times faster than the last one. The same amount of Creation is paced 20 times tighter. This is why time seems to be going so fast. It is not "time" but Creation itself that is accelerating. (see Mayan Calendar Central)

8. During the Apocalypse or the time "between worlds" many people will be going through many personal changes. The changes will be many and varied. It is all part of what we came here to learn or experience. Examples of change could be- relationships coming to an end, change of residence or location, change of job or work, shift in attitude or thinking etc.

9. Remember, in any given moment we are making small and large decisions. Each decision is based on LOVE or FEAR. Choose love, follow your intuition, not intellect and follow your passion or "burning inner desire." Go with the flow.

10. Thought forms are very important and affect our everyday life. We create our reality with thought forms. If we think negative thoughts of others this is what we attract. If we think positive thoughts we will attract positive people and events. So be aware of your thoughts and eliminate the unnecessary negative or judgemental ones.

11. Be aware that most of the media is controlled by just a few. Use discernment! Look for the hidden agendas. Why is this information being presented to you? What is "their" real agenda? Is it a case of problemreactionsolution? Do "they" create a problem so that "we" react and ask for a fix, then "they" offer their solution? The "solution is what "they" really wanted in the first place.

12. Remember almost nothing happens by accident. Almost all "events" are planned by some agency or other. Despite this, it is a very exciting time to be alive!

SOME POSSIBLE EFFECTS OF THE CHANGES
* Migraine headaches, tiredness
* Electrical sensations in the limbs and spinal column
* Cramps in the muscular networks
* Flu like symptoms
* Intense dreams.
* The human body will become more sensitive as a result of the new vibrations.
* The resonance of Earth has been 7.8Hz for thousands of years. Since 1980 it has risen to over 12Hz.
This means that 16 hours now equate to a 24 hour day. Time is speeding up!
* The physical body has already begun to change. A new light body is being created.
* Our DNA is being re-programmed from the Universe (as predicted in the Mayan Prophecy).
We are going from 2 strand back to 12 strand DNA.
* Greater intuitive and healing abilities will emerge.
* Eyes will become cat like in order to adjust to the new atmosphere and light.
* All newly born children will probably be telepathic at birth.
* All plagues of the 90's, including AIDS will be gone.

READ IT PEOPLE THEN CRY ABOUT HOW YOU PEOPLE DID NOT CHERISH LIFE AND START REGRETTING!! SHALL YOU ARE IN DOUBT OF WHAT TO DO, YOU SHOULD START BE CHERISHING ALL THOSE AROUND YOU.

2008-03-04T21:20:00.005+08:00

THE WORLD IS GOING TO END POSSIBLY ON 2012 AND NOT ON 2029.

This is regarding the issue that i have said on account about the world is going to end. Many is saying the world is going to end in the year 2029 due to an asteroid but it have been said by NASA that the asteroid would only appear to the people but it would not hit Earth. So, that rule out the possibility on how people have been saying that in 2029 the world will end. But in 2012, the world will end reason being that firstly, the Mayan calender although it cant really be trusted but after all, it have predicted the world trade center attack, albert einstein and his saying of a polar shift in 2012 which the world will rotate in another way, that would clearly means that whichever country that is experiencing drought now, might now have drought but instead all the other end of the earth, many other country would be experiencing drought and this goes the same for flood. So, the amount of land that is going to get harm would have increased by one times.

Quoted from http://science.nasa.gov/headlines/y2005/13may_2004mn4.htm :

Astronomers knew 2004 MN4 would miss Earth when they found pictures of the asteroid taken, unwittingly, in March 2004, three months before its official discovery. The extra data ruled out a collision in 2029.

Instead, what we're going to have is an eye-popping close encounter:

On April 13, 2029, asteroid 2004 MN4 will fly past Earth only 18,600 miles (30,000 km) above the ground. For comparison, geosynchronous satellites orbit at 22,300 miles (36,000 km). "At closest approach, the asteroid will shine like a 3rd magnitude star, visible to the unaided eye from Africa, Europe and Asia--even through city lights," says Jon Giorgini of JPL. This is rare. "Close approaches by objects as large as 2004 MN4 are currently thought to occur at 1000-year intervals, on average."

In 2012, many have said that the world is going to end, people like albert einstein, Edgar cayce, nostramadus, merlin and even the hopi indians have predicted that the world will end or the world will restart itself. What do they exactly mean by restarting itself, we do not really know but shall the world restart itself, it would only mean that all of us would be gone and it would be back to prehistoric times for it could not be that after 21st December 2012, the next day we wake up, everything become to 01 Jan 0001. Another point is that there would be geomagnetic storm which could greatly interrupt our daily life and while it say that the geomagnetic storm in 2012 would be very big.

Quoted from www.wikipedia.org :

A geomagnetic storm is a temporary disturbance of the Earth's magnetosphere caused by a disturbance in space weather. Associated with solar coronal mass ejections (CME), coronal holes, or solar flares, a geomagnetic storm is caused by a solar wind shock wave which typically strikes the Earth's magnetic field 24 to 36 hours after the event. This only happens if the shock wave travels in a direction toward Earth. The solar wind pressure on the magnetosphere will increase or decrease depending on the Sun's activity. These solar wind pressure changes modify the electric currents in the ionosphere. Magnetic storms usually last 24 to 48 hours, but some may last for many days. In 1989, an electromagnetic storm disrupted power throughout most of Quebec [1] — it caused auroras as far south as Texas 2].

That would meant that a geomagnetic storm is indeed powerful. In August 1989, A geomagnetic storm affected the microchip in Toronto which in turns, caused the stock market to halt all trading. So, how is this link to the 2012. It is said that the geomagnetic storm that would happen in 2012, would be so big that would crash the whole world stock market and that would means that there would be no finance going on. Soon, everything would be done through trading of stuff and/or object.

Quoted from www.wikipedia.org:

Since 1989 power companies in North America, the UK, Northern Europe and elsewhere have invested time and effort in evaluating the geomagnetically induced current (GIC) risk and in developing mitigation strategies.

Since 1995, geomagnetic storms and solar flares are observed from the Solar and Heliospheric Observatory (SOHO) joint-NASA-European Space Agency satellite.

Therefore, the world is clearly shown to be ending in 2012. There are sayings that there are STEALTH asteroid that is proceeding towards earth and hitting us on December 2012. But how true is that, is left to be prove for how can a asteroid be Stealth.

EVERYONE JUST CHERISH THOSE THAT ARE BESIDE YOU AND LIVE LIFE AS IT IS. IF I HAVE GOTTEN ANY FACTS WRONG ABOVE, KINDLY UNDERSTAND AND IDENTIFY IT THROUGH THE TAGBOX.

Hey little girl, say so much le. Must understand hor. Must cherish la idiot. And you dun play so much computer you know not good for you de. Study more and rest more. You everyday also so tired see already also heartache. love you sorry wor i so demanding but.. its still for your own good yup

2008-02-29T18:57:00.006+08:00

ITS LEAP YEAR :):) Loving someone too much can cause hurtness at times so, leave some love for others. ( thats what you are hinting me)

Hmm four year once kind of thing but the sad thing is, the next leap year is the year that the world is going to end and that is on the 21st of december 2012. I didn't say this cause i like it but instead cause many things and people have justified it. That may just be the world when world war 3 occurs causing nuclear holocaust and good bye the world or even geomagnetic storm that is going to crash the world. Even our greatest albert einstein have said that the world is going to rotate the other world. That would mean the poles will all change side. Isn't it cool? even if it is cool, that will speak the end of the world. There are also said to be a stealth asteroid that is going to crash into earth on the december 21st 2012. SO, its either the world goes into a boom by nuclear holocaust or the world get boom by asteroid. So people, choose your fate. But by the end of the day, everyone will still be dead. This is a link whereby many things and people justified the act that the world is going to end on 21st December 2012. http://www.december212012.com/

I may be a bad boyfriend but have you ever think otherwise? Who in the world will feel safe leaving their own girlfriend to other guys and letting someone whom we all know that like his own girlfriend to send her back home? Shall one day the guy decided to go crazy, thats the end of you. Yes, i admit you may be a strong girl but so what? no matter how strong you are, you cant be stronger than guys. I know i will get crude remarks on your blog and stuff but doesnt matter for im already used to it.

Story

2008-02-26T21:27:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone, its tuesday!! not bad quite a nice day and I'm going to write a story^^ Please grade it at the tagbox and give your comment upon reading ^^

Disaster

The disaster that had happened cost me a fortune on visiting a psychologist for treating my emotional trauma. It was not a choice but instead, a necessity. There was not much of a choice for me to prevent or even run away from it. A natural disaster could occur anytime they like and anytime they want. I did not wanted it to happen this way but no one did gave me the choice to even deem what would be best for me. It was god that sent this plaque and killed my wife while causing my parents to be bedridden. I blame him for causing this to happen and I will never forgive him even if my wife were still alive.

Ten years ago, while it was just one hour before my family comprising of my parents and wife left me, we were having a great time laughing and joking as we walked our way towards our destination which is the restaurant where me and my wife had our first date and coincidentally, my parents had theirs there too. It was all fun and laughter until one hours later when the disaster struck. We were happily eating while joking when all of a sudden, my parents and wife said that they wanted to proceed towards the toilet. I immediately dismiss it as usually a girl would naturally want a companion but what was surprising was that even my father wanted to go to the toilet too. Ten minutes later, a guy came rushing in shouting with horror that a lightning had struck out of a sudden from the sky. I kept my thoughts away and kept consoling myself that my family members would be fine as they were just visiting the toilet but right after I calm down, another man who was the shop manager came rushing in saying that it was a young lady in her mid-thirties and two old couple that had been struck. This left me in fear as I was worried that it was them, the one closest to me.

I left with a heavy heart as I walked towards the spot where they said the lightning had stuck. One step at a time with my mind going through all the worst possibilities that had happened. Could they had been stuck by lightning? Or merely one of them got struck by lightning? It was just one step before I cut through the crowd when i heard a deep voice shouted my name from behind that sounded like my dad. It was an immediate relive but as i turned around, the one that had shouted was not the one that I had anticipated but instead, it was just my primary school friend who merely saw me. I ignored his shouting and turned back but as I took that one final step, my heart immediately sank. My wife was as black as charcoal that I almost could not recognise her. I thought about my parents and looked around but all I saw was them shivering in fear with the box of cake on the floor next to my wife. I rushed towards my father and questioned him as to what happened. I still could not face the fact that my wife had died in a mere 10 minutes. My father then explained while stuttering that they were on their way to get the cake that they had reserved specially for my birthday and wanted to give me a surprise bu instead while they were walking, disaster struck and there goes a lightning right into my wife. He continued explaining that they themselves tried to help her but instead, the currents passed through them mildly and they got shocked. That was never the reason why they were dumb-stricken but instead it was because their daughter-in-law had died just beside them and right before their eyes.

I unleashed all my anger cursing the futility of religions and belief in god. He had chosen for me to be born on this day. This faithful day that happens to be the day that couples get together and celebrate it but at the same time, he had also chose to take my wife away from me. If there was really god, why would a lightning struck before rain starts falling. I remembered when I was in secondary school, it was said that lighting usually comes together with rain but why on earth did that lightning came before the rain without any warning or any sign? It was on purpose that god chose this day to take my wife away from me. I hated god at that moment and cursed those religions who put god in mind. I once believed in but never again after this disaster struck as god gave me life then took it away leaving me like a wandering soul.

I woke up from hypnotism and look straight into my psychologist eyes. He was whelmed in tears as he heard what I said throughout the short duration of being hypnotised. Although it did not help much by visiting a psychologist but it definitely helped with someone to talk to. I was prescribed depression drugs since ten years ago but every time when valentine's day come, I will sob uncontrollably as I thought how a simple birthday of mine had made me lose my loved one. My parents ever since then had lied on bed being bedridden with the thoughts still hunting them in the middle of the night. I had lost my job and had been living on the savings that my wife had saved while she was still alive.

Natural disaster may come anytime they like and anytime they want. If it was meant to hit you, you could never hide from it. Even if you had the strongest barrier, they would still break it and take your life away as though you was never born to this world. This is what god chose and never once was it our choice.

2008-02-25T01:01:00.003+08:00

Hey everyone its now currently 12:54am huh? currently pei-ing her till she is like so soundly asleep that i can like finally be of rest assured? For the past 1 and a half hour i have been like on the phone trying to get her to sleep? Not bad not bad ah. Anyway today... Sent my little cute dog for training ^^ he have finally learn how to sit and stuff le not bad hor. How i wish she can like recover faster than it would be like so good can have fun with her. Watching tv and blogging now although its kind of late but i think it does not really matter since exam is over. I wonder who will still be awake now other than those night owl like me myself and I. Many things happened this 2 days and my mother is continuing with her pms-ing that i do not really care anymore. Girls and ladies can really remember stuff that deep that they can keep repeating it despite something that happen a long time ago. I wonder how do they even do that? They really nothing to do? Alright GOOD NIGHT SWEET DREAMS EVERYONE!!

Close your eyes section--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey girl you are sleeping soundly now and im glad to know that. Although i stay awake past the time that you asked me to sleep but nvm la cause im like accompanying you? scared you midnight wake up cant find anyone only. After all your parents not even at home. So.. dun blame me cause its not my fault i merely did it for your own good. Just realise that i have been doing things for your own good huh? Hope you know that i will never harm you my dear girl. Good night sleep tight. loves

SIckday

2008-02-23T13:38:00.002+08:00

IT HAVE BEEN 7 MONTHS SINCE 20/07/2007.

Anyway, i found out shermaine secret which shall be kept. Hope you have a great time sher. After all, you are my one good good friend apart from my lovely girlfriend who is now sick lying on bed. :(:(

HOHOHO im back to blogging, okay crap was busy mugging till quite late with her for the past one week that my mother thought i was like playing? thats stupid. Had lots of fun with her on monday and tuesday yup then wednesday when it all went so well but with hardcore papers that really crapped the hell out of us. Thursday. Ncc day everyone was like busy with polishing boots and saying uniform and stuff. I think it must be like the only one time when all of us really took notice into polishing our boots after the enlightment talk by our senior kai zhow thus, we went into great heights to improve and polish our boots. Alright now im currently stuck at home while unable to like go out because my mother pms-ed this morning. Its STUPID but glad too cause she is like so sick so i rather she stay at home rather than going out and play with me. Although playing with me can be fun but sick must still stay at home mah if not how take care and how study wor. Papers not yet back but so be it should be not bad bah. Considering that i did study but A maths paper really hardcore that stupid mr ang never teach de all come out then he ask us focus de all never come out. OH yes before i forgot, there is like a current issue regarding my class? there have been serious sabotaging that is occuring in my class that is causing my whole class to be like targetted and being talk to. WHOEVER THAT is doing this please stop it thank you. Thats basically my whole week plus many many things more which is kinda confidential. Now its time for the 2nd part of my blogging which is meant for her only s people pls close your eyes.

Hey dear how ya doing? you sick le must take care hor it have been like 7 months that we have been together already very unexpected hor. But just wanna say that throughout this 7 months, i have been real faithful to you and im glad that we sort out everything in our relationship le. Hope this relationship will last and this relationship will definitely last much longer than what you had expeted. Anyway i sitll love you dear. Will take care of you de. But promise me that you will faster get well okay then we can go out and have fun. Looking forward to our 8 month. loveyou. I will always be here for you and encouraging you de so... no worries!

dunno

2008-02-11T01:48:00.000+08:00

Happy chinese new year guys AND 7th month is coming ^^

long time no blog already. Went malaysia for the whole of the holidays and could say have quite a great fun with my cousins. We just played and played and kept laughing and joking around. Come to think bout it, we are quite close cousins and i found a similiarity and that is that we all did not pierce earholes.

Today: First went to padang there de SRC to eat lunch after which went with my cousins they all to go to suntec to watch movie : cj7. It was quite a nice show comedy.. but no plot at all so kind of disappointing but its quite nice. Before that, we went to raid the arcade and spent bout $30 there in a jiffy. After movie, we decided to walk to plaza singapura to have our dinner which we ate at swensens and ate bout elts say $140 for 5 persons? and surprisingly, combining the amt of money the 5 of us have was close to bout a thousand. Sadly cant find anything to buy for you.. Anyway after that we played at swensens like little kiddos and just play and play in short, it was fun. Then erm.. go home le lor one of my younger cousin took mrt home the rest of us take taxi back yup. Just realise something and that is there are many guys acting cute out there they never seem to know what called disgusting doesn't they? so be it. They liked to act cute thats the problem will tag soon.

TUESDAY HAVING HISTORY TEST. OMG. But study already so should be quite brief and everything will go pass smoothly every single day. Btw valentine coming so.. GUys get the girls some present.

hey dear take care of yourself la sick till liddat already still want to go to school even have to make sure you really sleep then can put down the phone. If one day i not by your side anymore im afraid i will be very worried bout you cause you never seem to be able to take care of yourself. But.. nvm i will take care of you till that day come. our 7th month coming le. Loveyou lots. MIVES.

2008-01-18T23:20:00.001+08:00

You know that you do not want this outcome and you yourself know that both of us are awaiting for sunday. Those happy times those sad times we spent it and got it over with so why not just carry on with those happy times. Its not that i wouldn't take your words to heart its merely that i do not want to face up to reality. That then is the case. You may not know or shall I say you wont even see this but if you happen to see this, I just wanna tell you that i still love you.

random

2008-01-05T19:44:00.000+08:00

Today, the rain just flow dripping as though nothing have happened. Many moods dampen but neither does the rain know for they are only a cycle a complete cycle that can bring people up but also bring people down. If someone was to jump this very instance in the rain so big, no one would heard; heard the cries and scream many people would take it as the thunder rumbling but its not in actual fact its one person dying. A satanic sin that clearly depicts this would be stupidity and so happen its on the top of the 9 satanic sins. Many people clearly understand that but hardly peple is willing to change it. Imagine if one day you would die, who would you want to be by your side crying and mourning for you? The satan or the devil? Only these 2 would mourn truthfully for they would be happy that you are dead but sad that someone have left this world. Those fake tears people shed those crocodile tears some may called many think that when you cry its the truth but sub-Consciousness seems to be only the truth for you would say it when you are half drowsy half dead then that would be the truth. Many have cried including me i do not deny many have shed tears for the relationship they believe in and many have experience break ups but break ups are something that human themselves choose and not their feelings choose. There is no such thing as heartache its a lie its what the mind think of when you are scared, when you are afraid of that break up when you think that you are going to lose her then thats the point your heart will ache its all in the mind.

Those words in the morning was meant to be the actual truth. Merely words could not have touched you, but im glad i said what was right and what was truth im glad about it and i did not regret not once not twice not once did i regret that i spent money on you and not once did i regret getting scolded for i know thats the sacrifices you have to put in a relationship that you would wanna see it last and want to see it grow regardless of the difficulties and of the pain for there will be happiness and happiness cures all. There is no actual heartache but there is the mind effect, i was scared; scared that you would leave and that cause the heart to ache that was how the heartache came in. Those tears aint belongs to crocodile for they just fell on their own. Eyes was neither to dry or too wet just that the heart was sending the message that i was going to lose you but that was all in the past. For now and the future no tears shall be shed for you do not allow and no heartache would happen for you occupy my mind and prevent the mind from sending that message needed for the heart to ache. I love you and i will love you well i will treat you the best and i wouldnt let you cry. Not a tear would fall regardless for happiness or for sadness. Even if your tear do shed, i would be right beside you watchin till it gets okay gets dry up and after cheer you up. I would give you the relationship of a lifetime and that is a relationship of happiness and no sadness. The teachers may interfere the parents may interfere but nothing can change this. I would sneak out if i have to i would get scolded if i have to but i would keep this relationship intact till all the love dries up but that would never happen on my side and that hopefully would not either from your side. Its a good starting without an ending. Its a cliff hanger story; a love story. A good date a good year brought to the next year and even better year and an even better relationship persisting on. I love you. 20072007.

few days at school

2008-01-03T21:48:00.001+08:00

okay im back here again anyway, first day same old thing that is checking of hair; i did not get caught woot my fringe long sia!! then never get caught not bad hor. Anyway go class introductory then just found out that many teachers know me probably of my good popularity

picutures

2007-12-27T22:29:00.000+08:00

this is only pictures from a bit of my cousin my own one seriously too many my cousins all alot i think probably thousand plus pictures will try upload most of them thanks Identify each and everyone of them urself should be able to know

hmm this is in a place where suppose to be putting relic but ppl stole it then got bat on top and stuff..
three cousins best ffriends best cousins <3
all my cousins the small girl is my sis and the i suppose you guys know is me.
Me and my two cousins :D good cousins although i look retarded..
THats me and my cousin after climbing the mountain seeing the sunset. Ran with my sis up high high.

THats my whole family except me and my brother arent they nice looking huh
Officially screwed pic of mine cannot put only nice picture mah
The two smallest of my generation <33 href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_ek_SCM9QiLQ/R3O4Pa6su8I/AAAAAAAAABc/AkPGlZFCdsU/s1600-h/PC180191.JPG"> Once again its them <33 href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_ek_SCM9QiLQ/R3O4P66su9I/AAAAAAAAABk/Z0ntG2S_Asw/s1600-h/PC180194.JPG"> my sister?

Thats my cousin, me and my three other cousin
Thats my one big family :D:D

frustrated

2007-12-27T22:13:00.000+08:00

Okay everyone now its currently 10:08pm hmm lets talk bout today.. early morning had to proceed to school for my ncc training which starts at 8am okay you guys probably think its kinda late but seriously its tough considering that we have to get there early. After which, we had hell lot of training was probably cause did not train for months and got real weak. But still, manage to do push ups and push ups cause of mistake and stuff.. After that, i went with daniel go watch golden compass till erm.. 5pm actually the show is quite nice if you think it positively rather than thinking it was a waste of your time. After which, got back to sch met her at the science block and lalala :D. Then went back to canteen and find daniel which we both waited for welly to go home. Brought a fun game to school today but no one want play with me.. sad how i wish you can play with me ( you know who).

Was feeling kinda frustrated at night cause dunno how to find the thing that im suppose to find my whole head is tired and frustrated seriously dunno what to do. Probably no one could help me.

hey..didnt know what to say but was really glad that you accompany me despite how you hated it thanks alot. Anyway, thanks though and sry for making you miss me so much. I will definitely make ur love worthwhile. Gotta leave for hong kong already im sry but since you will be going too, hope can see you there wil be back soon. bye.

another day

2007-12-26T22:50:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone im back here into blogging again. Anyway lets start from 24th of december. Firstly, went out with my cousin to vivo to watch im legend, act sushi tei together, had tons of fun and i bought a espirit jacket cost 169.90.. Though im splurging but i swear is nice. Anyway after that, went to orchard to meet my family and we went to have nice nice dinner. Btw guys shopping seriously kills time me and my cousin hardly shop and 2hrs was gone kinda fast huh. Oh yes.. Saw chu wen amanda blah blah blah at vivo too. After that, brought my cute little sister to watch alvin and the chipmunk. I swear its a nice movie.

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Lets talk bout yesterday..

Firstly woke up at 11pm then went to DFS( duty free shop) for my mum to get present for my cousins. After that went to dunno some isolated place in dunno where to have our lunch but the surprising thing is there got alot of people. Wore nice clothes that day and probably post the pictures another time hope you guys do not mind. After that, went to ktv to sing and sing and sing. We sang for 4 hrs as in my cousins and i and my brother. My cousin say i sing better than my brother who learns singing but comments is.. he sing no energy like constipated. okay then went to walk then go my cousin hse then vola Back HOME.

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Its time for today!!!

Started my day at 730am then went office to work at 8am... cause father got appointment at that time so bo bian must go so early. Then spend time there working scanning and stuff but got kinda clumsy and spilled some water. sad case. After which, I went to find my little dear at amk hub and surprisingly, she went to extend her hair. Not used to it but okay la quite cute don't really mind. Then, sher came and she pass me my pressie!! Was told that thats the most expensive thing she ever bought for pressie. Hmmm thanks sher. After that we went to hougang mall to meet jz then couldnt decide where to eat then we after stoning for long, before going to ya kun to eat bread. This must definitely say.. although sher looks all so happy but deep inside her she is actually weak. She need a guy. Anyone wanna go jio her? i give you number. Preferably jz!! Thats all for today will post photo and erm.. story soon. Good bye and good night
oh yes before i forgot! i spent 500 plus dollars on xmas present.. omg splurging but nvm now still got money :D

A quote from my cousin : No matter how much you flirt outside, at the end of the day, you will still go back to the girl you really care.

I agree with it and mind you he saying only so.. dear dun get mistaken.

Now for the dear only section:

Dear although i have not seen you for long but was really happy to see you. Hope you like the present. Every quarrel i learnt, I learnt how to pay attention to your every words even though i may be playing computer. I wanna be perfect for you and i wan to treat you good. Although sometimes i may bring you down but the intention behind it was not bad. I wanna treat you well, i wanna take care of you and lastly, i wan you to have a relationship you will never forget. And i mean never. I wan to let you feel the way that a girl should be treated and how a girl should be spoilt. I dun wan you to see others and suffer and i dun wan you to shed a tear. I just want you to live a life being a happy girl. especially in our relationship.

I love you dear happy 5th month.

a day out

2007-12-22T23:42:00.000+08:00

hey guys.. haha have lots of fun today. Went out with my 2 cousin. They 2 very nice one same age and me and the other one bigger. We went to raffles place then go city link then go suntec its like we spent half hour going to suntec but not bad la at least we made it there arguing and playing around. We three like small kids but at the same time also abit like pai kia. Anyway went to precious moments i know its not a very nice place but me and my two cousins were busy buying presents for people and mostly we have a hard time thinking for girls.. Anyway, finally bought 4 things but only for 2 girls and that is 2 ball kinda thing where there is erm... figurine inside while can wind to play some songs and 2 ear-ring. Its like omg la. I 2 day spend about lets say... $300 le.. then ppl keep saying i rich kid and stuff but i ain't one.Anyway, today spend $150 on two person? hmm christmas is coming soon!! Have a fun time guys!! will post pictures pretty soon AND THE STORY SHALL CONTINUE next time. Its still fun going out with my cousins. After that, my brother came and joined us at pizza hut we ate and joke. Dam funny. Then sadly, we gotta go. Have dinner with family while my two other cousin go join my another female cousin and family for movie. Went to Orchid country club to play the slide and the ball ball thing with my little sister then afterwards went to eat seafood with my father who have just came back. Fun. Okay thats all for today. Will post soon!!

hey dear i went to buy presents today and i did not forgot you although i spend lots of money on you but nevermind la anyway hope you come back soon so i can give you the presents. Love you lots.

Simple

2007-12-21T23:37:00.001+08:00

A simple theory by me for many situations in couples:
things happen, things got to be solve and things between two parties that happen, one of them gotta solve it but when the other party is not in the mood to solve it, he will just dismiss it so thats the time for the other party to keep quiet and wait for the other party to get his emotions back and get it solve or you could just give in a little bit and solve it just like how the other party would instead of adding on. This would truly help your relationship

Good night guys and have a nice day. the post on cambodia would be up pretty soon.

hey dear, There you are, flying off again. When you are back, i will still be here alright. So.. find me when you need me dear.

playboy

2007-12-21T23:03:00.000+08:00

Topic: Playboy(part 1)
Characters: ME and many other people
Date: 21/12/07
Time:10:58

Lets start it off with... i was told i am a playboy by many girls and that was done through a survey of my school girls. And surprisingly, im suppose to be among the shuai group of my school huh.. Its like ( this post is not suppose to let you be a playboy) you get much closer to a female friend but the thing is many others think you are having a fling with that girl. Is that what is the truth. Does gossip leads this way? Thats my first question. Now im starting my first interview with a girl for 2 years and lets call her... bebe(names have been change) and minnie.

ME: How does a girl play a guy?
BEBE: When the girl is happy, she good to him but when he is not happy, he practically don't care him and being with him, is merely manipulating him( wow thats bad). For example, She is together with him just for his money or just for someone to accompany her whenever she likes it
ME: but isnt that evil.
BEBE: yah duh, but guy play girls arent it like that too?
ME: hmm i differs.

Okay now lets get back to the main point. Thats what i asked from a girl as in how does a girl play a guy but come to think of it, its quite evil girls are said to be so... emotional creatures. I encountered just one emotional creature last night. I was messaging her happily but kind of got aggitated by my parents so i merely did a very simple thing by not telling her but as she is worried bout me, she asked so i did not wanted to tell her and

she said: I am not talkin to you because you are a meanie.

I replied agitatedly: Don't talk then don't talk larh don't talk then might as well forever don't talk take it as you dunno me.

she replied quite some time later: Im sorry for my attitude towards you etc etc.

And she cried last night just because of this. Aren't they emotional. For those who know me well, i will salvage the situation when i have the mood for it but surprisingly she does not know that but i wont blame her.

My 2nd interview with the emotional creature that i mentioned and as what i said, lets call her minnie.

ME: how does a girl play a guy?

Minnie: She just simply act flirty( swing her hair at him, seducing him with those seducive eyes) then get the guy for emotional gains and/or material gains and after which, just say a simple "bye bye" or a mere " i got another boyfriend" and thats the end of their budding relationship.

Me: isn't that evil?

Minnie: You guys can play, we girls can play too.

Thats the end of the short interview. Lets get into the CONCLUSION okay now people

It appears that from the two interview, girls play guys are for material and/or emotional gains thats really very scary isn't it? imagine if a guy would to really like that guy but in the end found out that she was only using him, his heart would probably be shattered. As you can see, there are no girl thats too.. emotional until they found someone they really love. Girls are scary creatures so its either you make them love you before they destroy your hope or you destroy them first.

Thats the end for now. For part 2, it will be how guys treat girls. thank you and have a nice day

continuation.

2007-12-21T21:37:00.000+08:00

Those girls after trying to find them for a very long while, they decided to give up and plotted a plan to make the guy give up. They went in search high and low for that girl and decided to broaden their network through their gossip channels. They finally found her. That one special girl. She did her simple thing, studying and going back home but those girls that love that guy wanted to influence her and that is to spoil her good child look. Sorry guys but im seriously out of ideas. too tired will continue next time

Im back from cambodia

2007-12-21T21:27:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone, im currently officially back from cambodia!! It was hell of a lifetime and mind you everyday we slept at bout 4-5am? and wake up at 7.. anyway, it was fun there with my cousin and imagine in a hot sun of about lets say... 29 degree? its real hot there and much hotter compared to singapore. Oh yes. the story shall continue lets say hw about later? firstly we went to the ang kor what where its a palace and there is like keep visiting palace museum palace museum see also will bored. Got tons of pictures that we took probably post them later when i have time. I did a very magnificent thing and that is... climbing up a mountain carrying my sister just to see the sunset. It was a beautiful site.. how i wish i can see it with my dear but sadly that gotta wait till i start getting my own income. Okay g2g for now will be back later to post pictures and do look out for the story. Hope people can start giving me comments on it. Found out a sad news by a good friend of mine and that is he/she have broken up but still, all the best to all the couple in the world.

just realise something and that is everyone is calling me a playboy but am i really one? thats something that only the girl i have can understand.

Leaving

2007-12-16T03:36:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone im currently leaving going to cambodia. The story will be finish in lets say... 2-3 more posts. Will miss everyone of you and a final goodbye to you people. I am going to come back real soon faster than you imagine and you gonna get shock wahahaha. Okay bye have a nice day everyone. Waiting for the taxi to come. Not bad with 7 movies in my handphone i'm ready to go anywhere do read the story below if you happened to pass by and leave a note bout it thanks.

hey dear, im leaving already going overseas but no worries i will call you every night and ensure that you sleep do message me okay? and you know the rules right. Our rules just between us. Loveyou lots. mives. This relationship ain't gonna end that easily and both of us got to commit to it. Its just part of me and you. loves