Wednesday, October 8, 2008
8:13 PM
~ Happiness, sadness and forlorness ~
Those feelings are seeping into my mind. i was wondering a few days ago whether i had done the right thing or not. I told myself to leave her but I ended up asking her to be back with me. I do not know what to do anymore. With her by my side, i felt bless but when she is gone, even for a mere second, forlorness wont stop coming in.. The urge to hug her and the urge to feel her simply comes in whenever she is gone. Just round the corner , she left and those misses would start coming in.
Those sadness flows in when you walk away.
Those misses flows in when you walk away.
Those moments flows in when you walk away.
The day that you cried, the day that our relationship died, the day our relationship revived. I told myself many times that i would cherish i would withstand and i would bare with whatever that this relationship would bring me. I made it.. I did it.. i got you back with me. As i am typing all of these, you are busy doing your maths. Maybe you don't know but i would turn around and glance at you whenever possible because i miss you and because i feel like looking at you. You might think i am eccentric or that i am abnormal but i just want to tell you that i love you and i really miss you.
Last night was miserable.. In the sense that last night made me felt real awful.
You told me you miss me,
you told me you want to hug me
you told me that you want to feel your body touching mine
and you told me that you want to sit there do nothing and just look at me.
Those thoughts that you pen down and sent through your phone, made me real sad.. real sad that i can't be there for you. whatever your thoughts may be, i just want to hug you and caress you softly. I just want to hug you and let you relax yourself. My days pass by being lonely but you brighten them up. You took over everyone and you took over everything. I want to have you everyday but i am afraid you would find me a bore. i know it is not right to take you everyday but without you for a day, would seem like a year. it was only 2 days before i hug you and it felt like forever.. it felt so great to have you in my arms again and seeing your eyes closing peacefully.
That is the solitude that i have always wanted.. with the girl that i love being hug by me and resting peacefully. Though we play, though we get crazy but the love between us is strong. There will be much more love than ever there will be much more.. it always will..
Exams are ending soon and tomorrow would be the last paper. I don't know how much time you would allow for me and i don't really want to guess. Maybe after tomorrow or friday, the time that we spend together would be much lesser. I have no clue i have no idea.. i just want to cherish you till then. i just want to hug you till then. Till the day when i am lonely, walking across roads and crossing traffic lights without holding anyone without having to worry about anyone. i just want to say i love you girl..
Having you for so many days, without seeing you for a few hours, makes me sad.
Having you for so many days, without seeing you for a few days, tortures me.
Having you for so many days, without hugging you at all, makes me worries..
You affect me directly baby. Its not inverse proportion. May this post be dedicated to you. I just want to let you know how much i love you. I love you baby.. 真的很爱你。 Hope after seeing this, your love for me would increase and would understand situations much more baby.. i really wish you to be the first girl that understands me the most and the first girl that allow me to dote on the most.. i love you.